Baby boo - literally
by FoxtrotTango543
Summary: Snotlout feeds Hiccup and Toothless berries with unknown powers. Turns out they can bring back a person's lost youth . . . a little too well. Now Hiccup and Toothless are stuck like that until the berries wear off. It's going to be a long two weeks.
1. Dragon and rider to hatchling and baby

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks. This fanfiction is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.

A/N: Just to clear things up during the story, **bold** speech is when the dragons are talking, _italics _are for when the humans are thinking, and _**bold italics**_ are for when the dragons are thinking.

* * *

"WHAT MADE YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA FOR YOU TO FEED THEM THOSE BERRIES, YOU IDIOT?!" Astrid screamed, as the twins restrained her just enough to not get Snotlout hurt.

"I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD DO THAT!" Snotlout screamed back.

Now, some of you may be a little confused about why this starts with dialogue. That is a story in itself. But before I tell you that story, I have to tell you this story.

* * *

It all started when a couple of Vikings brought in baskets full of odd-looking berries into the Great Hall. Man, woman, child and dragon alike stopped whatever it was that they were previously doing and stared as baskets of the intriguingly-shaped berries were brought in to be inspected by the chief. They looked slightly spiky and were an odd orange colour. Not even Stoick could remain stoic at the sight of these berries. "What are these?" Stoick asked, nearly spitting out his ale at the berries.

"We're not sure, sir," one man reported. "But I heard that these types of berries are poisonous and I know people usually pick berries there. I don't want people to get sick - or worse. It's better to be safe than sorry."

"Your diligence is admirable," Stoick noted. "Find Gobber and go through Berk's botany records to see if any information can be found on them. Until then, hide the berries from all humans and dragons to ensure that nothing bad happens to anyone."

"Yes, sir," he replied, as he and the other Vikings took the baskets away. A small bunch of them fell off the very top of one of the baskets (that happened to be piled up especially high by some moron of a Viking) and fell at the feet of Snotlout. Well, this was not going to be good.

"Well, well, well, what's this that I see?" Snotlout muttered to himself. "One, two, three, four, five, six berries I have here. I wonder what would happen if someone were to eat them?" Snotlout started looking for potential targets, but nobody seemed just right. These people were Vikings, and Vikings were all very protective over their food and drink. Well, almost all of them, anyway. . .

Hiccup was giving a lecture to a couple of enraptured preteens about how to bond with their dragon, and as he was a good distance away from his meal, Snotlout figured he was the perfect target. As Hiccup talked and answered questions, Snotlout crushed the berries into his hand and squeezed the juices out into his ale. He got most of it out of the berries and into the drink, but then he had a new problem. A one-tonne, obsidian, Night Fury-shaped problem.

Toothless had caught him tampering with his rider's food, and was advancing slowly towards Snotlout. Snotlout had to think of something. So he tried to bribe the Night Fury with the three remaining berries. The offspring of lightning and death went from being angry to confused and then curious. Maybe these berries were tasty. There was only one way to find out, and he ate them out of Snotlout's hand. The young Jorgenson grinned as the last three berries were disposed of by Toothless. The evidence of his crimes was gone. Nobody could touch him now.

"See you suckers around," Snotlout muttered, as he headed home.

He had no idea what he'd started.

* * *

The next day, the people of Berk awoke to a commotion. Stoick woke up in the morning to find Hiccup and Toothless gone. No note, Hiccup's prosthetic leg was still in his room next to Toothless' riding gear, but both he and Toothless were gone. People were looking for the duo high and low, while Stoick went to see if Gobber had run into the lad. "No, I don't have anything useful for you other than what those orange berries do," Gobber told him.

"What do they do, Gobber?" Stoick asked.

"You might not believe it at first, but they turn people into babies!" Gobber reported, laughing at the absurdity of it all. "Crazy, don't you think?" Stoick felt his stomach flip. Hiccup hadn't . . . had he? Stoick didn't know much about these berries or where his son was, but he just knew that he had to get home. If Hiccup had eaten these berries, whether it was intentional or not, then that meant there was a baby left unsupervised in his house. He burst into the room, his eyes wildly darting around the room, searching for a baby. He was about to give up, but that was when he heard soft whimpering coming from Hiccup's bed. He slowly lifted up the blanket, and saw Hiccup. But not the Hiccup he knew. This was a more infantile Hiccup, when he was a baby. Stoick remembered Hiccup as a baby. He had eaten the berries.

"Oh, Hiccup," Stoick sighed, holding the infant in his arms, like he had done when he was a baby the first time around. The brunette's teenage clothes slid off him, leaving him naked. Hiccup, groggy and confused, started to wail, and Stoick started to hold him tightly. "First order of business: clothes for Hiccup." When he went to get out some old baby clothes for Hiccup to wear in the meantime, he saw a bundle of blanket shaking. He lifted it up and saw, to his shock, a petrified infantile Toothless to match the new baby Hiccup. "This is a lot weirder than I originally thought."

* * *

Stoick was now tasked with holding a meeting for two reasons: to explain the whereabouts of Hiccup and Toothless and the effects of consuming the berries. "There is an announcement I must give about the newly found berries, ladies and gentlemen," Stoick announced, uncharacteristically nervous. This was going to be a very weird speech. "After looking up these berries in Berk's records, it turns that they-"

"Will turn you into a baby!" Gobber shouted out. Lots of Vikings roared with laughter, thinking it was a joke that Gobber was playing on the chief.

"Thank you, Gobber, for telling them what I was going to tell you anyway," Stoick sighed, shutting everybody up. People muttered amongst themselves, some even whimpered. "Now that's over with, I can tell you that Hiccup and Toothless have been found, safe and unharmed." People cheered. "But their appearances have . . . changed, and it's because of the berries. They've . . . well, see for yourselves." He brought Hiccup and Toothless out from under his cloak, which brought a chorus of cooing from these big, tough Vikings. The noise was too much for Hiccup, who started to bawl. Toothless followed suit. Stoick sighed and walked out, taking the two infants with him. Once they were home, the chieftain had to see to his charges. "Hiccup, easy, easy, It's me, your father," he soothed. "What's ailing you, my little warrior?"

"Thcawy dwagon!" Hiccup cried, pointing a chubby finger at Toothless. The tiny Night Fury was crying too, and seemed just as scared of Hiccup as he was of him. Stoick would have laughed at the irony of the situation if he didn't have to deal with two screaming youngsters.

"Now, now, Hiccup, he's not that bad," Stoick persuaded, trying to think of the methods Hiccup taught people to use to bond with dragons. Then he thought of one. Apparently, feeding time was bonding time. "Fish! You wanna give the baby dragon some fish?" Hiccup thought about it before nodding slightly.

"OK, Daddy," Hiccup agreed. Stoick went to where the basket of fish that was supposed to be the adult Toothless' breakfast and picked out a small fish for Hiccup to hold. Then they ventured over to the Night Fury's lair (the blanket that Toothless had claimed, dragged in front of the fireplace by the Night Fury hatchling and turned into a tiny cave). Hiccup tried to back out, but Stoick would have none of it.

"Go on, lad. It's OK. Just give him the fish." He laid Hiccup down near the Night Fury and retreated so he was just outside of the room. Not close enough to be seen by the children, but not too far away in case of an emergency.

Toothless noticed the brunette baby and started backing away, whimpering. He looked scary, and what was he holding behind his back. Was it harmful? Whatever it was, he wasn't staying to find out.** "Go away! You'we mean!"** Toothless whimpered. Hiccup wasn't so scared now, just curious. He thrust out the fish as a sort of peace offering to the terrified offspring of lightning and death.

"Hewe!" Hiccup blurted out, screwing his eyes shut. He figured, in his babyish mind, that maybe his fear wasn't misplaced and the mean dragon would hurt him and-

Toothless sniffed the fish. It smelled nice. He licked it tentatively. It tasted good, too. He decided to eat it, nuzzling the human who brought it for him. Hiccup opened his eyes to find the Night Fury snuggling him. He giggled, patting Toothless' head. Toothless licked Hiccup's tummy, making him giggle. Stoick stood outside, watching all this from a safe distance. He was so proud of his son for overcoming his fear of dragons. He wanted to watch them bond more, but there was a knock at the door. He opened it to find Hiccup's friends waiting for him. "Uh, hello?"

"Good day, Stoick. I just wanted to see how Hiccup and Toothless were doing," Astrid smiled. "We heard about what happened to them and thought that maybe it would be good to see them for a few hours." At first, Stoick was all for saying no. He had to stay with baby Hiccup and Toothless so they didn't get hurt. But then he had an idea. These teens were offering to take his son and his dragon off his hands for a few hours for free. And he did have lots of things to do, what with being chief and all . . .

"I don't see why not. They're in there," Stoick told the teens, who cheered and ran inside. Hiccup was startled by the noise and all the new people that came with it and started to cry softly, snuggling close to Toothless. Toothless reciprocated it, scared out of his babyish wits.

"Awww!" Ruffnut cooed. "They're adorable!" Hiccup started to wail and Toothless followed suit. Astrid couldn't stop herself from scooping them up into her arms and sitting down.

"Oh, don't cry, sweetie, you're safe with me," Astrid cooed. Hiccup let out a few hiccupping sobs before asking a question.

"Who awe you?" Hiccup asked. The gang looked around at each other awkwardly. Nobody thought that Hiccup would lose all his memories. Astrid tasked herself with the introductions.

"I'm Astrid," Astrid informed. "This is Fishlegs, Snotlout, Ruffnut and Tuffnut. And we'll be babysitting you today." Hiccup and Toothless' crying slowly stopped. Hiccup looked at them curiously.

"Awe you mean?" Hiccup asked. "You look mean." Everyone felt a pang of guilt tugging at their heartstrings at Hiccup's question. Hiccup may have no memories of his life, but he seemed to have some memory of their past cruelty to him.

"We're not going to be mean to you, I promise," Fishlegs told him. But the moment that Fishlegs' hand stretched out to Hiccup, Toothless defended him. He jumped out of Astrid's arms and bit Fishlegs' finger. "Ow!" Snotlout and the twins laughed cruelly as Fishlegs nursed his hurt appendage.

"What an idiot," Snotlout mocked, attempting to imitate Fishlegs' blunder. "We're not going to be mean to you, I promise." He then extended his hand out to Hiccup . . . exactly the way Fishlegs had done before him. Toothless bit his finger . . . in exactly the way Fishlegs had been bitten before him. "YEOW!" Hiccup and Toothless giggled.

"Toothless is defending Hiccup already," Fishlegs blurted out, regaining his confidence when he realized what he had uncovered. "This is incredible! We have proof that Night Furies of any age will latch onto a friend and protect them! And we get to watch this for two weeks!" Everyone looked at the alpha nerd (usually this was Hiccup, but he was a baby so that role was taken up by Fishlegs in his absence) curiously.

"How do you know that, Fishlegs?" Astrid asked.

"Oh, Gobber and I have been doing some research into these youth berries, and they only last two weeks. They won't remember anything while they were babies and they'll stay as babies until exactly two weeks to the day that they ate it. But they will have a few short memories of the day before they transformed that you could ask them about," Fishlegs explained.

"So until then, we'll have to split Hiccup's responsibilities between ourselves to make up for the slack," Astrid sighed.

"I'll give the dragon training lessons!" Fishlegs volunteered.

"I'll deal with people's questions outside of lessons," Astrid supplied.

"We'll clean up the damage made by dragons until he's recovered," the twins chorused.

"But that means I have to clean out the stables!" Snotlout whined. "I don't want to do that!" Astrid punched him "OW!" Hiccup and Toothless giggled.

"Wait, Hiccup's laughing!" Tuffnut pointed out. "Astrid, punch him again!"

"Wait, what?" Snotlout squeaked.

"It would be an honour," Astrid grinned, punching Snotlout again. Hiccup and Toothless laughed some more. Snotlout groaned.

"Hiccup, you may be a nice teenager, but you're a mean baby," Snotlout groaned. Astrid punched him again to shut him up, and that was what made him collapse. Hiccup and Toothless also collapsed . . . with laughter. Astrid had to hold them upright so they didn't fall onto their faces.

"You silly babies," Astrid sighed. Hiccup began to snuggle Toothless, who licked him. Hiccup giggled and scratched Toothless.

"Aww!" everyone but Snotlout cooed. Toothless then separated himself from the confused Hiccup and started sniffing Snotlout's hand.

"What's he doing?" Tuffnut asked.

"Oh, he must be looking for the youth berries I fed him yesterday," Snotlout admitted without thinking. Everyone stared at him. "What did I say? Seriously, what - oh." After that, everything was a blur.

"WHAT MADE YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA FOR YOU TO FEED THEM THOSE BERRIES, YOU IDIOT?!" Astrid screamed, as the twins restrained her just enough to not get Snotlout hurt.

"I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD DO THAT!" Snotlout screamed back.

"OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T KNOW! NOBODY KNEW! THAT WAS WHY THEY WERE KEPT AWAY FROM EVERYONE UNTIL SOMEONE KNEW WHAT THEY DID!" Hiccup and Toothless watched on fearfully. Their eyes welled up with tears.

"Let's get you two away from here," Fishlegs muttered, taking Hiccup and Toothless to their room, which had temporarily been converted into a nursery until the berries wore off. Hiccup's old crib had been brought down from storage, along with a few of his old toys to keep him occupied. Toothless started teething on one of Hiccup's spare prosthetics. "No! Don't do that!" Fishlegs yelped, taking the leg away. Hiccup became intrigued by the now useless prosthetic. (It wasn't like he was going to need it, since he had both his legs as a baby and it was now bigger than he himself was.)

"What that?" he asked.

"That's a prosthetic so people who are missing a leg can walk and do normal things," Fishlegs explained.

"OK!" Hiccup babbled, as Toothless lost interest and started looking around for somewhere to . . . relieve himself.

"No!" Fishlegs yelped, scooping Toothless up before he had a mess to deal with. He had to think of a solution, and fast. Suddenly he had an idea. It was unconventional, but it worked.

"Toothleth ith weawing a diapie!" Hiccup laughed, pointing a chubby finger at the Night Fury. Toothless whimpered, and Hiccup dropped the teasing. "I'm sowwy."

**"Meanie!"** Toothless whimpered. **"I'm thcawed!"** Hiccup crawled over and snuggled him. Or rather, he tried to snuggle him. He actually just fell on his face next to him and started crying. Toothless nudged him into a sitting position and stayed with Hiccup, licking his tummy. The brunette baby started to giggle. Toothless did it again, and again, until all he was doing was tickling the boy senseless. Helpless baby laughter rang throughout the house. Fishlegs smiled.

"All right, up you go," he sighed, placing Hiccup and Toothless on the bed to give them somewhere comfortable to sit. Toothless took a blanket and wrapped himself up in it while Hiccup was enthralled by the softness and fluffiness a pillow possessed. He turned around to see that there was no more Toothless and the lack of object permanence kicked in. Suddenly, Hiccup was extremely frightened now that Toothless was apparently gone forever.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ME WAN' TOOTHLETH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Fishlegs covered his ears, and naturally Toothless emerged from the blanket to see what was wrong with his friend.

**"Hiccup?"** Toothless asked. Hiccup's tears slowed when he saw Toothless.

"Buddy!" Hiccup cooed, patting Toothless. "You came back!"

**"Uh . . . yeah, I'm back!"** Toothless hurriedly agreed, confused but happy as long as Hiccup was happy. **"Wet's pway!"**

"Yay! We can pway!" Hiccup looked for a ball to play with, and found one that made a funny jingling noise. He rolled it to Toothless, who rolled it back to him. From there, they got into a rhythm and Fishlegs thought it was too cute. He sidestepped out of the room as quietly as he could and motioned for the others to come and see this. This was too precious for him to keep to himself.

"Pssst! Guys! Come see this, and don't make a sound!" he whispered. Quietly, the teens tiptoed over to Hiccup's room . . . and saw the most adorable sight the gods could have created for their mortal eyes.

"Holy Thor, thank you for this opportunity," Astrid prayed.

"This is nothing short of precious," the twins smiled, wiping away tears of pure joy. Snotlout almost ruined it.

"Hey, Fishface, why is Toothless wearing a-"

"SHHHH!"

It took a while before Hiccup and Toothless grew sleepy, and they both pined for Astrid. The blonde was happy to put them to bed, humming a lullaby her mother had hummed to her as a child. It wasn't long until they fell asleep, snuggling each other for warmth. The infantile duo had been darlings from start to finish.

* * *

Near the end of the day, Stoick came home to a quiet house. "How were they?" Stoick asked. "Not too much trouble, I hope?"

"Oh, they were very well behaved, utter sweeties!" Astrid reported. "If they need to be taken care of any time in the next two weeks, let us know!" The other teens muttered in agreement.

"They are adorable!" Fishlegs squealed.

"Yeah, it was totally worth feeding them youth berries," Snotlout said randomly. Stoick slowly turned to look at him, eyes burning with anger. "Thor dammit."

* * *

Eventually, once Stoick was done scolding Snotlout and telling him what his punishment would be for such a potentially dangerous prank, he went back to see his son and the Night Fury he had befriended. Almost immediately, something seemed wrong. "What is that smell?" Stoick asked the air, letting his nose guide him to the source. It was strongest near the crib the babies were sleeping in, and as Stoick had changed diapers before, he knew it when he smelled it. "Thor dammit," he muttered, as he stared at the stains in the backs of the diapers. "I guess those two saved me something after all."

And the chieftain could have sworn that he saw the baby Hiccup smirk in his sleep.


	2. Introductions

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks. This fanfiction is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.

A/N: Just to clear things up during the story, **bold** speech is when the dragons are talking, _italics _are for when the humans are thinking, and _**bold italics**_ are for when the dragons are thinking.

* * *

Stoick woke up the next day to the sound of giggling from Hiccup's room. He remembered that Hiccup would sometimes wake up screaming, so the giggling was a pleasant surprise. Then again, with two babies in the house, maybe they were giggling because they had just found that making a mess was funny. Either way, he needed to check on them.

The chief found an adorable sight. Toothless was hiding under blankets in a game of hide-and-seek while Hiccup counted. Granted, he couldn't quite count properly yet, but it was still pretty cute. "One, two, three . . . er, blah blah blah, five, four, three, two, one! Comin'!" Hiccup tried to look for Toothless, but had no actual clue that he was under the blankets. A tail was poking out, but he couldn't see it. When the brunette started getting worried and began to whimper, Toothless burst out of the blankets, giggling and licking Hiccup. Hiccup started giggling too.

"Ah, good to see that you're awake," Stoick smiled. "Come on, you two. Bath."

"Don't wanna!" Hiccup snapped, suddenly very grouchy.

**"Yeah, don't wanna!"** Toothless agreed. Stoick rolled his eyes. He could sense that they would be difficult. He decided to employ an old trick that relied on reverse psychology.

"Do you want to have your breakfast first and then a bath, or a bath first and then breakfast?" Stoick asked.

"Bweakfatht!" Hiccup cheered, the morning grouchiness of a few seconds ago magically gone. "I wan' food!"

"Fine," Stoick sighed, preparing mushy baby breakfast soup for his son while he looked for a few small fish for Toothless to eat. He set the fish in front of Toothless and the soup in front of Hiccup and let them eat their food alone for one minute. Just one minute of time to himself.

That was a big mistake on Stoick's part.

Toothless was fine and left minimal mess with his own meal, but Hiccup was a mess. Soup was clearly a bad idea. Hiccup was covered in soup and Toothless was licking it off him. Now they were both covered in soup and Hiccup was covered in a disgusting mix of dragon saliva and soup. "Mowe food, buddy?" Hiccup asked, giving the baby dragon the bowl. Toothless licked it clean.

"Oh, for the love of Thor . . . " Stoick groaned, as he carried the two to a bathtub. He put Toothless down next to the tub and started washing Hiccup. The only problem was that Toothless started to climb in with him. "Toothless, no. You will have a bath later. Hiccup will be having one first."

**"But-but I wanna play with Hiccup and the funny bubbleth,"** Toothless whined, scrabbling to get into the tub. Hiccup tried to help him. Stoick gave up.

"Fine," he sighed, picking Toothless up and giving both of them a much-needed bath. Hiccup and Toothless squealed with glee and started playing, splashing each other as they were bathed. The exhausted chief sighed as he scrubbed the soup off them. "Now I'll have to change your clothes." Hiccup's dirty clothes were exchanged for clean ones and a diaper was taped to his butt, as was Toothless'. Now all he needed was a group of slightly idiotic teenage babysitters to take the two off his hands for no real reason other than to coo over two cute-looking babies so he could get some work done.

And that was when he heard a knock at the door. He opened it to find Hiccup's friends. Astrid, being the replacement assumed leader until further notice, spoke for them. "Good day, sir," she smiled. "You wouldn't mind if we looked after Hiccup and Toothless during the day until they turned back to normal?" This was a dream come true for a tired parent with a long list of things to do.

"Of course," Stoick replied, going into the house to hand over his infant son and his Night Fury best friend to the teenagers. He knew that the babies were in good hands. "Hiccup, Toothless, look! You remember them?" Hiccup and Toothless squealed with delight. They remembered them, alright.

"Aww, they're so cute!" Ruffnut squealed, picking Toothless and Hiccup up. Hiccup milked it for all he was worth, smiling and snuggling close to Toothless, or as he called him, his 'buddy'. The teenagers fell into a downward cuteness spiral of cooing and using pet names to talk to them. Snotlout, however, wasn't convinced.

"How come he isn't recognizing us?" Snotlout asked. "He should know who we are."

"The berries you gave him wiped his memory of his entire life," Fishlegs explained. "We'll have to introduce ourselves to him all over again. Once the berries wear off, he'll remember his life, but not what happened when he was a baby."

"Well, let's start now," Astrid decided. "Hiccup, look at me. Look at me." Hiccup stared at her, and it was all Astrid could do to not snuggle him senseless. Hiccup was a cutie at any age. "I'm Astrid. Say it with me. Astrid. Astrid."

"Ath . . . Ath . . . " Hiccup struggled to complete the word and started to tear up. He was worried that he had failed her and would make her angry.

"It's OK. Try again," the blonde encouraged.

"Ath . . . Athdwid!" Hiccup finally blurted out. Astrid smiled and gave him ticklish kisses all over his tummy, making him giggle.

"Good boy, Hiccup! Very good!" Astrid praised. She pointed at Fishlegs. "This is Fishlegs. Can you say Fishlegs?"

"Fith . . . Fith . . . Fithwegth!" Hiccup answered. Fishlegs squealed with delight.

"We're Ruffnut and Tuffnut!" the twins chorused. "Can you say that?"

"W . . . W-Wuffnuth and Thuffnuth!" Hiccup babbled.

"Now we've got those guys out of the way, I'm Snotlout. Say Snotlout," Snotlout ordered. Hiccup kept his mouth shut. "Come on, you dumb baby, say it! Snotlout!" Hiccup was silent. "Say it, say it, say it!" Hiccup whimpered, and then began to wail. He buried his face in Astrid's neck and blubbered like . . . well . . . like a baby. The gang stared at Snotlout with utter disgust.

"First you potentially poison him and Toothless, then you make him cry?" Astrid huffed. "You're a despicable, disgusting excuse for a Viking! Half-troll doesn't begin to cover it!" She was much nicer to Hiccup. "There, there, sweetie. It's OK. Snotlout's a horrible person."

"And soon he'll be a pummeled person," Tuffnut growled. Ruffnut stopped him.

"There are children present," his twin told him. Tuffnut nodded in an uncharacteristically sombre fashion and backed away. Hiccup's crying had slowed to hiccupping (which explained his name . . . sort of) and Toothless' protective instincts kicked in, despite being an infant himself. He surprised everyone by aiming a plasma blast at the big bullying brat's butt. It seemed to glance off him without doing any damage, and Snotlout was even smugger. And nobody knew that that was even possible until now!

"Ha! You really thought that that would hurt me? You're both dumb as a bunch of rocks!" Snotlout gloated, as smoke began to rise from behind him. "Your brain must have been burned alive after eating those berries, like the meat someone's burning! Wait . . . burning . . . meat?" Snotlout put two and two together, screamed and ran around looking for some water to put out the fire. Hiccup and Toothless giggled, and everyone turned this into 'give Toothless scratches' time.

"What a cutie!" Astrid cooed. "Clever, clever Toothless!"

"We're going to feed you so much fish. And we'll tell Barf and Belch to play with you really nicely!" the twins promised.

"What does this have to do with Barf and Belch?" Fishlegs asked.

"Shouldn't we take them to meet the other dragons? Toothless should know what it's like to fly and interact with them. You know, dragon stuff," Tuffnut suggested.

"That's the first not-dumb thing I've heard from you all year!" Astrid exclaimed. "Hey, Hiccup, you wanna see more dragons? The really big kind?"

"Yay! Big dwagons!" Hiccup cheered.

"Well, you heard the baby! Let's go get our dragons!" Astrid ordered. The gang went to get Stormfly, Hookfang, Meatlug and Barf and Belch. Astrid held Hiccup and Fishlegs held Toothless. The beefy blond wasn't even sure whether he was supposed to be fussing over how adorable he was or making notes about infant Night Furies for Hiccup to read over when the berries lost their effect. He'd have to multitask.

"Toothless, hold still so I can sketch you," Fishlegs told the hyperactive hatchling, as he placed him on the floor. But the moment Fishlegs let him go, he was racing over to the other dragons, simply dying to meet them. Everyone thought it was adorable. The other dragons were just . . . confused.

**"Who's the little guy?"** Hookfang asked. **"He looks familiar."**

**"Hey there, sweetie. Who are you?"** Stormfly asked, already willing to be the surrogate mother to the Night Fury hatchling.

**"I'm Toothweth!"** Toothless introduced. Needless to say, the dragons were freaked out.

**"Holy Thor! Toothless!"** Barf and Belch chimed. **"This is insane! How are you a hatchling? And what is that thing you are wearing?"**

**"I don't know!"** Toothless answered. **"I wasn't a grown up, was I? That sounds scary."** Stormfly and Toothless decided to go along with what Toothless knew.

**"Well, you don't look like a grown-up to me,"** Meatlug smiled. Toothless giggled, and the girls were smitten.

**"No, you're our adorable little hatchling, aren't you?"** Stormfly teased. Toothless purred as the girls lavished him in affection. Hookfang, Barf and Belch looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

**"I don't know what happened with Toothless, but this seems complicated and weird,"** Hookfang muttered.

**"Bet you your lunch that this was your rider's fault,"** Barf grinned.

**"I'm not betting my lunch on something like that!"** Hookfang scoffed. **"You're crazy!"**

**"And you're spineless,"** Belch retorted. This helped Hookfang make up his mind.

**"You two have got yourselves a deal,"** Hookfang growled, pushing his lunch in front of him like coloured chips in a modern-day casino. The two started to watch the humans closely, listening for anything in their conversation that would tell them what caused their friend's transformation.

"Aww, Stormfly and Meatlug are being so nice to Toothless," Astrid cooed. "I knew that they would be good to him."

"What if they can smell the berries that they ate?" Fishlegs asked.

"Either they don't know or they don't care. Either way, it's fine, Fishface," Snotlout scoffed.

"You fed them berries that turned them into babies, Snotlout. How is this fine?" Tuffnut asked. "This is so stupid, _we_ should be doing it."

"Yeah!" Ruffnut agreed. "Wait, what?" Barf and Belch gave a smug look to Hookfang.

**"Hand it over,"** they ordered.

**"Fine. You stuff your faces while I check on Toothless,"** Hookfang huffed, checking on Toothless to make sure that he wasn't being smothered. He was being smothered all right, the girls weren't giving him enough space and he was finding it uncomfortable. **"Oh, for Thor's sake, give him to me!"** Hookfang picked him up to give him some air, and Toothless smiled at the helpful Monstrous Nightmare.

**"Tank woo, mithtew,"** Toothless smiled.

**"It's fine. If you had been with them any longer, you may have . . . turned into a girl."** Hookfang grinned at Toothless' horrified expression.

**"I don't wanna be a giwl!"** Toothless cried.

**"Being with the girls is fine, but not all the time, especially if you're a little hatchling,"** Hookfang lied. **"Or you'll turn into a girl. You'll start liking flowers-"**

**"No!"**

**"And singing-"**

**"Pwease, thtop!"**

**"And you'll want to have lots of nice smelling things and pretty things and shiny things!"**

**"EEEEK!"** Toothless squealed, hiding under Hookfang's wing, terrified out of his infantile mind about possibly becoming a girl. For a young male like Toothless, this was the stuff of nightmares. The actual girls weren't impressed with Hookfang.

**"Are you done traumatising him?"** Meatlug asked.

**"Oh, he'll be fine,"** Hookfang dismissed. **"I'm only teasing him, honest!"** Sighing, Hookfang checked on the quivering black lump and nudged it. **"Toothless, you wanna be a girl?"**

**"No! Make it thtop!"** Toothless pleaded. He looked to be on the verge of tears, and as mean as Hookfang could be, he drew the proverbial line with making hatchlings cry. He had to make things right somehow.

**"There is something I can do, but you won't like it."** Hookfang stuck his tongue out and started giving Toothless lots of ticklish licks. Toothless squeaked and giggled through it. **"I have to lick all the girl smell off you, and it's going to take a very long time!"** Toothless was always insanely ticklish as an adult (something Hookfang loved to exploit), and it was now quite clear to Hookfang that this was something he'd always had. _**So it wasn't caused by humans after all,**_ Hookfang marvelled, as he found all the same sweet spots were there, just smaller. But the reactions seemed bigger.

**"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"** Toothless laughed. **"No more! Pwease!"**

**"Let me think . . . nah."** Hookfang was licking Toothless senseless, and all the young Night Fury could do was squeal and giggle and beg for mercy.

**"GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"** Toothless howled. **"IHIHIHIHIT TIHIHIHIHIHIHICKLETH!"**

**"Well, tough. You still smell like a girl, so I have to keep doing this,"** Hookfang told him. Toothless babbled hysterically, letting out ticklish screams of laughter most of the time. That was more like the Toothless Hookfang knew (and annoyed the scales off for fun). The red Monstrous Nightmare laid Toothless down on the floor to rest. Stormfly and Meatlug took Toothless away from Hookfang, still miffed that he would trick a gullible infant into believing that he could change genders by being around girls.

**"There, there, sweetie, we'll take good care of you,"** Stormfly cooed, but Toothless was having none of it. He squirmed away from them towards, of all dragons, Barf and Belch.

**"Hewwo,"** he nervously greeted. Barf and Belch were besotted with him almost immediately.

**"Hey, little guy,"** they chorused. **"Wanna play?"** Toothless immediately agreed.

**"Yeah! I wanna pway!"** Toothless agreed. Barf and Belch grinned: they knew a game that Toothless would love. Barf picked him up by the scruff of the neck and threw him in the air, to be caught by Belch. Belch would throw him in the air and Toothless would be caught by Barf. The Zippleback drank in the happy giggles and squeals of glee that spilled out of Toothless' mouth. It was adorable.

**"What are you doing?"** Stormfly asked. **"You'll hurt him!"**

**"He's fine!"** Barf and Belch dismissed.

**"He is not!"** Meatlug snapped. **"Now put him down!"** The Zippleback gingerly placed Toothless on the floor and Meatlug took him to Stormfly so the girls could snuggle with him and tell him that he was OK and definitely not going to become a girl. But Toothless kept trying to get away from them.

**"Are you OK?"** Stormfly asked.

**"I wanna pway with Bawf and Bewlch,"** Toothless whined. Barf and Belch had the biggest, smuggest grins on their faces possible. Stormfly groaned and handed Toothless over to the Zippleback, who started throwing Toothless up in the air all over again. The humans thought it was adorable.

"Aww, look at Toothless playing with our dragon," Tuffnut cooed. "We did say that Barf and Belch would be nice to him."

"Now this is nothing short of cute," Fishlegs smiled. "Now, let's introduce Hiccup to them. Hiccup, do you want to see all the big dragons?"

"Yeah! Big dwagons!" Hiccup cheered. "Wanna thee! Now, pweathe!"

"OK, Hiccup, this is a Monstrous Nightmare, the best of the best, toughest of them all! Nobody can compete with it!" Snotlout bragged. Hookfang tried to look non-threatening in front of Hiccup. He was only a baby, after all. But when he was trying to be the closest he could be to affectionate, Barf and Belch trod on his tail. Hookfang reared up and set himself on fire. Hiccup burst into tears, and Snotlout glared at Hookfang.

"Seriously, Hookfang?" Snotlout snapped. "Stop making me look bad!"

"Alright, moving on!" Fishlegs uneasily sighed, as he brought Hiccup over to Stormfly. "This is Stormfly, and she is a Deadly Nadder. Deadly Nadders are very good at tracking smells and they have the hottest fire of all dragons." Stormfly preened. She let her snout be touched by Hiccup to show Hookfang how it was done. Hiccup cooed and giggled.

"Hewwo!" Hiccup greeted.

**"Hello to you too, you little cutie pie,"** Stormfly cooed. All Hiccup heard was growling and squawking, and he burst into tears again.

"WAAAAAAAAAAA! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" the brunette baby bawled. Stormfly was crushed.

**"I just wanted to say hello, and he cried,"** Stormfly lamented to Meatlug. Meatlug patted her wing in commiseration.

"Hiccup, this is Barf and Belch, a Hideous Zippleback," Ruffnut introduced proudly.

"One head releases gas, and the other ignites it," Tuffnut explained.

**"This is how it happens. Here's the gas . . . "** Barf started, blowing a cloud of gas out of his mouth.

**"And here's the spark!"** Belch finished, releasing a mouthful of sparks that exploded in the Zippleback's faces. Hiccup was terrified and whimpered. Hookfang and Toothless laughed.

**"Big boom funny!"** Toothless giggled. **"Again, again!"**

**"I'm with the Night Fury on this one,"** Hookfang snickered. **"Hey, Barf, Belch, do it again!"**

**"I'm not doing it!"** the two heads of the Zippleback snapped. Toothless visibly deflated.

**"Aww,"** Toothless moaned, disappointed. This was exploited ruthlessly by Hookfang.

**"See, you're making him sad. You should blow your face off again,"** Hookfang justified.

**"Hookfang!"** Stormfly chastised.

**"What?"** Hookfang asked, not seeing that he'd done anything wrong. Meatlug glared at him.

"Now, this is Meatlug, a Gronckle," Fishlegs introduced proudly. "Gronckles have very thick skins and can spew lava instead of fire like other dragons! Wanna see, Hiccup?"

"Yay!" Hiccup squealed, clapping his baby hands. Meatlug needed no instruction and shot a ball of lava at a target that was there for some reason. Hiccup started whimpering and reached for Astrid while in Fishlegs' arms. Astrid took him and held him while he sobbed.

"Maybe Hiccup isn't ready for big dragons," Ruffnut concluded.

"You think?!" Tuffnut yelled. Hiccup cried harder.

"At least Toothless likes them," Fishlegs said, trying to be optimistic.

"The only thing this tells me is that Hiccup is far too young to be allowed near any dragons!" Snotlout pointed out.

"After today, Hiccup shouldn't be allowed near you!" Astrid huffed, as she took Toothless and Hiccup home. "Hiccup, it's OK now. It's just me." But Hiccup cried constantly, inconsolable. Or so she thought.

**"Hiccup, don't cwy,"** Toothless pleaded. **"Hiccup! Come play! Thmile, pwease!"** Hiccup blinked back tears to see Toothless there, trying to snuggle him and licking him. Hiccup smiled and petted Toothless. The tears were still flowing, but the faucet seemed to be running dry (not that Vikings had faucets or even running water back then).

"Toothweth! Buddy!" Hiccup cooed.

**"Hiccup!"** Toothless smiled, wrestling Hiccup and landing on top of him. The boys laughed and continued playfighting.

_Well, maybe there is a dragon here that is safe for Hiccup to be around,_ Astrid thought.


	3. Meeting Gobber

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks. This fanfiction is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.

A/N: Just to clear things up during the story, **bold** speech is when the dragons are talking, _italics _are for when the humans are thinking, and _**bold italics**_ are for when the dragons are thinking.

* * *

The entire village was woken up with babyish screams from what had to be Hiccup. Or possibly Toothless. Maybe both of them. Either way, it was coming from the Haddock house, and it was loud enough for the entire village to hear it, no matter how many pillows they placed over their heads.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! DADDY!" Hiccup wailed.

**"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I'TH THCAWED! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"** Toothless howled. The two blubbering babies snuggled next to each other out of pure terror.

"I'm coming, hold your yaks," Stoick groaned, as he went to calm the infants down. "What makes you babies get up in the middle of the night, I will never know." He quickly tried to find anything that could calm down his now-infant son and his Night Fury hatchling best friend. "Hiccup, buddy, you hungry?" Hiccup shook his head as he bawled. "Want another blanket?" Hiccup again shook his head while crying. "You need another diaper?" Hiccup cried as Stoick checked on him. He definitely didn't need a change. Neither did Toothless. Babies were nothing short of a mystery to the tired chieftain.

"Wight! Ith'th dawk, Daddy!" Hiccup cried. Now he got it. Hiccup was scared of the dark and they were alone. Toothless couldn't comfort him because he didn't know what was wrong, and the crying freaked him out, so he cried too. Stoick lit a candle and placed it in the room to give the babies light. Hiccup's crying slowed and he settled down. Toothless' crying stopped once he saw that Hiccup was OK. "Bud . . . Buddy? Buddy!" Hiccup cheered, hugging Toothless. Toothless licked him. A joyous reunion . . . kind of. Stoick sighed and went back to sleep. _Note to self: leave a light on for the babies,_ he thought before his head hit the pillow and he fell asleep once again.

* * *

Hiccup and Toothless used baby powers currently unknown (and still unknown) to adults to wake up early the next morning and beg to play with Daddy. Unfortunately for them, Daddy had a lot to do. But Hiccup had had a lot of babysitters as an actual kid, and they could take care of him for a little while. "Hey, Hiccup," Stoick persuaded. "You wanna see Gobber?"

"Gobbew?" Hiccup repeated.

"Gobber works in the forge, Hiccup, and he's a friend of mine," Stoick explained, carefully. "He makes swords and axes for people."

"Can I thee him?" Hiccup asked. Stoick smiled.

"Sure; why not?" Stoick asked, as he scooped up both Hiccup and Toothless and walked with them to the forge. He was stopped by people wanting to play with Hiccup and Toothless, and Hiccup was the sweetest, cutest baby anyone could dream of babysitting. And Toothless had his fair share of draconic admirers. The confused chieftain had to bat away several dragons who had heard of Toothless' . . . condition and were eager to take care of him.

"You little cutie pies!" Astrid cooed, smiling as she walked over to the chief and pinched Hiccup's face. Then she pinched Toothless' face. She flushed when she realized the precious babies she was fussing over were still in Stoick's arms. "Good day, sir. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I've grown quite used to this reaction to the boys. Say, lass, do you know if Gobber is still in the forge?"

"Yeah, he is," Astrid replied.

"Can we go thee him?" Hiccup pleaded. "He thoundth nithe. Pweeeeeeeeeathe?" Stoick had already said yes, but this really sealed the deal.

"Of course," Stoick smiled. "Come on." Hiccup and Toothless were carried over to the forge, and Gobber was waiting for them.

"Hello, little lad!" Gobber greeted. "Make that little lads," he corrected, after seeing Toothless next to his infant assistant. "Hey there!"

"Hewwo, Gobbew!" Hiccup greeted, waving. Toothless strained to see the man he had heard about.

**"Dis is Gobbew?"** Toothless asked. **"Hewwo!"**

"Yeah, thath's Gobbew! Gobbew theemth nithe!" Hiccup explained. He always seemed to be explaining things to Toothless, the way he always used to, and it was adorable. "Whath's that?" A chubby, small finger pointed at a variety of tools used in the forge. The teenage Hiccup would enthusiastically go through the purposes and how to use each of the tools, but baby Hiccup was utterly clueless to all of it. It was all fascinating and confusing to him and, like the teenage Hiccup, he wanted to know more. Toothless just thought that the shiny, warm fire was pretty.

**"Silly!"** Toothless proclaimed, giggling at the fire as it crackled and burned. **"Fiwe all wiggwy!"** He waddled over to it, severely lacking the grace and poise his adult self shamelessly flaunted. Gobber scooped Toothless up before he hurt himself and handed him over to Stoick.

"Stoick, I'm not sure that this is a good place for two babies to be," Gobber whispered. "How about I go see them when they're at home?"

"Fair enough," Stoick agreed, taking them home. Hiccup whimpered.

"Bye, Gobbew," he sniffled tearfully, waving goodbye. Stoick saw this and tried to comfort his infant son.

"Don't worry, Hiccup, you can see Astrid today to play with her," Stoick comforted. "You like Astrid, right?"

"Athdwid!" Hiccup repeated, clapping his tiny, chubby hands together with anticipation.

"And there'll be big dragons, too. Remember? Hookfang, Stormfly, Barf, Belch and Meatlug?" Stoick asked.

**"Thdormfwy! Hookfang! Bawf! Bewch! Meadwug!"** Toothless reminisced.

"Oh, you two seem very happy!" Stoick smiled.

"Athdwid! Me wan' Athdwid! Please, Daddy?" Hiccup proclaimed. Villagers looked over and smiled. This was adorable. Astrid happened to be walking by and Hiccup squealed joyfully, reaching for her with his chubby, weak baby hands. "Athdwid! Hewwo!"

"Hello, sweetie! Wanna play with me and the twins and Fishlegs and Snotlout?" Astrid asked.

"No Thnodwouth, pwease, Athdwid," Hiccup replied. Toothless growled at the mention of Snotlout's name.

"Why not?" Astrid asked.

"Thnodwoud'th a meanie. He thaid I wath a dumb baby," Hiccup replied. Stoick choked on a mouthful of lamb as he heard his infant son talk.

"Is this true?" the shocked chieftain asked.

"Yes. It happened when Hiccup wouldn't say Snotlout's name," Astrid explained. Stoick's face settled in a mask of rage.

"Where's Snotlout, Astrid?" Stoick asked, barely keeping the rage out of his voice.

"Hey, chief! Were you looking for me? Do Hiccup and Toothless need a strong, manly role model to teach them how life works when you're away?" Stoick slowly turned to him with a death glare in his eyes. "Oh no."

"Is it true that you called Hiccup a dumb baby, Snotlout?" Stoick asked. Snotlout turned pale.

"I . . . thought he'd forgotten about that," Snotlout chuckled. "You know . . . 'cause he's a baby and he's dumb."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HE THAID I WATH DUMB!" Hiccup bawled. People glared at Snotlout for picking on an infant, of all people. And the worst thing about it was that the baby used to be a teenager that they really liked.

"I think it's time that I leave," Snotlout sheepishly excused.

"I agree," Stoick replied coldly. Snotlout took a few steps back, before turning tail and running. Hiccup sniffled and sobbed, while Toothless wrapped his wings around him in a hug. The crying slowed to a stop. Hiccup had always been comforted by Toothless' presence, and their new ages didn't change a thing. Then Toothless tried to make Hiccup smile and giggle.

"Buddy! Good buddy!" Hiccup giggled, as Toothless walked around on his back legs and pulled faces. "Funny!"

"You like Toothless, huh?" Astrid asked. Hiccup nodded vigorously.

"Toothweth ith my buddy," Hiccup replied. People awwed and cooed at Hiccup. He found himself being picked up by random people so they could pinch his chubby little baby cheeks, tickle his tiny little belly, and generally snuggled. Toothless freaked out. The mean people wanted to take away Hiccup. He whimpered, chirping sadly for his infantile friend. Hiccup heard him and also began to whimper. Neither of them wanted to be separated. "Buddy!" Hiccup whined.

**"Hiccup!"** Toothless pleaded. The two looked at each other for all of three seconds . . . and screamed.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Hiccup bawled.

**"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"** Toothless bawled. All that could tried to cover their ears. Astrid took charge.

"Oh, give them to me," she sighed. "Never separate them. They have a habit of screaming."

"You could have told us that earlier," Gobber sighed, as he came in for his regular pint of mead. "Hey, Hiccup!"

"Gobbew!" Hiccup smiled. "Hewwo!"

"Hiccup, look at me, look at me," Gobber instructed. Hiccup stared at Gobber and giggled. "Hiccup, I work in a forge making weapons for people. I take the metal and make it really hot in the fire, and the fire makes a whooshing sound."

"Whoosh!" Hiccup giggled.

"And then you take the metal and you hit it with a hammer, like this!" Gobber explained, taking his fist and pounded it on the table. Hiccup laughed, and copied him again.

"And then it is put into some water to cool it down and it's a weapon!" Gobber finished. Hiccup stared at him happily.

"Gobbew, can I hewp you? In the fowge?" Hiccup asked.

"Not yet, lad. You're too young and you can't reach anything yet," Gobber explained. "Hiccup, I will let you help me when you are at least seven." Hiccup visibly deflated.

"Please?" Hiccup begged.

"I'm sorry, but no," Gobber told him, firmly but kindly. Hiccup deflated some more. Toothless tried to comfort him, but nothing was working.

**"Hiccup?"** Toothless whimpered, nudging the infant. **"Hiccup? Thmile, pweathe!"** Hiccup looked at Gobber and smiled.

"OK!" Hiccup agreed, although he looked heartbroken. Toothless just knew that Hiccup would need some comfort. He nuzzled the baby's neck and Hiccup started giggling hysterically. "Tickly! Ahahahahahaha!" They were just so cute together.

**"Hiccup! I make fire for you tho you happy!"** Toothless babbled, aiming for the fireplace . . . and missing. A small fire was started in the Great Hall, and the emergency bucket of water was used to put it out. Toothless whimpered with fear. The people looked angry with him. (They were never mad at Toothless, just surprised that he had firepower at all.)

"Toothweth? You thad?" Hiccup asked. "B-bud?" Toothless whimpered. "S'okay, buddy. S'okay." Toothless was petrified, and stayed very close to Hiccup. Hiccup wasn't mad, so staying with him was good . . . right?

"Toothless, no fire inside," Stoick sighed. "Except for the fireplace, obviously. Look at the fireplace and then aim." Toothless concentrated on the fire, tilted his head left and right . . . and fired. The fireplace was alight again, and Toothless was so proud of himself. Hiccup laughed happily.

"Fire funny!" Hiccup giggled. Toothless giggled too, and licked Hiccup. It was a big, sloppy Night Fury lick with Hiccup now covered in drool. Stoick groaned.

"For Thor's sake!" the tired chieftain complained. Hiccup and Toothless giggled.

* * *

After a long day of being called the cutest duo on the island and petted by dragons and humans alike, Hiccup and Toothless were put to bed. "You two are hard work, but it's worth it," Stoick sighed, as he wrapped the boys in an old blanket.

"Wuv you, Daddy," Hiccup babbled. Stoick smiled widely, and ruffled the fluffy brown hair on his baby boy's head.

"Love you too, son," Stoick replied, as he left the boys' room. This time, he remembered the all-important candle.

* * *

P.S: Happy holidays, folks!


	4. Dragon training lesson

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks. This fanfiction is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.

A/N: Just to clear things up during the story, **bold** speech is when the dragons are talking, _italics _are for when the humans are thinking, and _**bold italics**_ are for when the dragons are thinking.

* * *

Hiccup and Toothless woke up in the morning, wanting to play. They found a ball that chimed, and the infant hatchling started to roll it around. Hiccup giggled at the concept of blocks being stacked up high above his head, and laughed when they fell over. How they got out of their shared crib, nobody knows. Stoick peeked in and smiled when they saw the two friends playing so peacefully together. "Hello, you two," Stoick replied. "You want to stay with Astrid and see her do some dragon training?" Astrid and the other teens had promised that they would take Hiccup and Toothless to the dragon training arena and let them watch and maybe even take part in the lesson. (But of course, they'd tell Hiccup and Toothless that they could only take part if they were very, very good little boys.)

"Athdwid! Yay!" Hiccup babbled. "Toothweth, we theein' Athdwid today!" The little baby eagerly explained it to the Night Fury, who nodded as if he understood. He remembered the nice blonde girl who held them and snuggled them. And she always had the nice dragon called Stormfly with blue scales and she and Meatlug would always pick him up for snuggles. Hookfang, Barf and Belch would play with him. He was eager. Both of them wanted to go, but there were things that needed to be done. More specifically, breakfast and a diaper change. Those two stunk to high heaven and they were very hungry. Toothless was teething on the bars of a crib with hunger, for crying out loud!

"Thoup, pweathe!" Hiccup smiled, clapping his hands. "Pweathe, Daddy?"

"Come on," Stoick sighed, carrying them downstairs. They were changed out of their filthy diapers and given some soup and fish respectively. Hiccup still tried to feed Toothless, who wanted to feed himself.

**"No, Hiccup! I'm not a baby! You'we a baby!"** Toothless whined. It was pretty ironic that a baby was calling another baby a baby. **"Eat youw own food!"**

"Good boy, Toothless! You're eating your food!" Hiccup praised, as he got more of his food on him than in him. This is probably the reason why Hiccup has a rather lean physique as a teenager. Every once in a while, the wooden spoon Hiccup was holding would make its way into his mouth, with a small trickle going down his chin. It left a green stain on his clothes and lower half of his face. "Daddy, no more!"

"What do you mean, no more? Are you finished?" Stoick asked. He looked at the empty bowl in front of his son, then at the state of him. "Oh, for Thor's sake."

"Hewwo, Daddy!" Hiccup greeted. Stoick wiped his face and got him a new pair of clothes, green like the ones he usually wore. Toothless never made such a mess, so he just picked up the babies and waited for Astrid. She never did take long. Just as he thought that, there was a knock on the door.

"Good day, chief!" Astrid greeted. She could hear a squeal from inside the house. Hiccup and Toothless must have heard them. "I'll get them and go."

"Thank you," Stoick sighed, as Astrid went to collect the cutest little bundles of joy Berk had to offer.

"Hello, you two!" she cooed.

"Athdwid!" Hiccup squealed, snuggling her.

**"Athdwid!"** Toothless squealed, licking her face. Astrid chuckled.

"You want me to take you to a dragon training lesson, Hiccup? Where you can train Toothless?" Astrid asked. Hiccup clapped his hands gleefully. "But only if both of you are very good boys for us."

"I can wide a dwagon!" Hiccup babbled.

**"Why do I need to be thwained?"** Toothless asked, very confused.

"Toothless, buddy, look at me. You wanna play with Stormfly?" Astrid asked.

**"Thdormfwy!"** Toothless squealed.

"Well, she's outside. You wanna see her?" Astrid asked. Toothless nodded eagerly. "Come on, you two. Dragon training lesson for you." Astrid carried them over to Stormfly and flew over to the arena. The babies loved it, squealing as the wind rushed over them and around them.

"Fwying ith tho cool!" Hiccup squealed.

"Hey, class. Here are our most junior students here to learn," Astrid introduced, as she took Hiccup and Toothless off Stormfly's back.

"Hewwo!" Hiccup greeted.

"Hello, Hiccup!" Fishlegs smiled. "You can learn how to bond with your dragon today."

"Wike fwiendths?" Hiccup asked.

"Yeah, like friends!" Fishlegs agreed. Hiccup smiled.

"Toothweth ith my fwiend," Hiccup smiled. People went aww and they petted Toothless and Hiccup. They were seated next to each other so they were easier to watch. Stormfly was thankful that she was so close to Toothless. He seemed to really like her.

**"You are so cute, you know that?"** Stormfly cooed. Toothless giggled. Hiccup didn't mind too much. Stormfly wasn't so bad. She let him ride her back. It was quite cool that they got to fly in the air.

"Hewwo, Thdormfwy!" Hiccup cooed, reaching out a tiny little hand. Stormfly pressed her snout into it. People's jaws dropped.

"How is he doing this?" Snotlout asked. "He is a baby! Just . . . just how?"

"Well, I guess this proves that this is Hiccup," Fishlegs replied. "Only Hiccup could grasp a concept like that so quickly."

"Aww, he's so cute! Can we keep him?" Ruffnut asked. Everyone stared at her. "What?"

"Hiccup may be a baby, but he is still human, and his dad will want him back. So you can't keep him," Astrid explained. Ruffnut deflated. Toothless had waddled over to the other dragons and tried to snuggle, rubbing against them as if he was a cat.

**"Hey, little guy!"** Hookfang smiled. **"You should go to sleep for a while. This is going to be very boring."**

**"It ith?"** Toothless asked, disappointed. **"How?"**

**"The humans talk and we have to set things on fire a few times,"** Hookfang explained. Toothless lit up like a Snoggletog tree.

**"Fiwe! Yay!"** Toothless cheered, racing over to Hiccup. **"We can make fiwe, Hiccup!"**

**"Well, he's going to be awake all lesson. Thanks, Hookfang!"** Barf drawled.

"OK, just some target practice," Astrid instructed. "You need to get your dragons to aim at the targets there in order for them to get used to being told when and where to fire at."

**"And as you can see, it's gone completely over Hookfang's head,"** Belch explained.

**"Hey!"** Hookfang snapped. Toothless squealed and snuggled Hiccup.

**"We can pway with fiwe!"** Toothless squealed. **"Lots of fiwe!"**

**"Why do I feel as if this will end very well or very badly?"** Stormfly asked.

**"You must have a dose of common sense,"** Meatlug replied offhandedly. They were interrupted by their humans.

"Stormfly, spine shot!" Astrid ordered. Stormfly shot at a target, hitting the bullseye. "Attagirl!"

"Hookfang, light it up!" Snotlout ordered. "AAAAARGH!" Hookfang set him on fire.

**"Hey, I lit it up! Do I get extra fish or something?"** Hookfang snickered. Toothless giggled at the sight of Snotlout on fire.

"Athdwid, what doth Toothweth do? Thdormfwy's got spine shot and Hookfang getth to wight id up, but whath can Toothweth do?" Hiccup asked. Astrid took it on herself to explain.

"Toothless has plasma blasts," the blonde warrior clarified. Hiccup smiled and nodded.

"Tank woo, Athdwid," Hiccup thanked. Astrid smiled and stayed close to him.

"Wanna try?" Astrid asked. Hiccup nodded, and surprised everyone for a second time.

"Toothweth, pwathma bwathd!" Hiccup ordered through an infantile lisp, and Toothless obeyed and shot at the targets three times. People's jaws dropped for the second time that day . . . and it wasn't even lunch time yet. Toothless had bigger problems.

**"Hookfang! Hookfang!"** Toothless sobbed, rushing towards the red Monstrous Nightmare. Toothless knew that Hookfang would probably know the answer, and he was still rather wary of Stormfly and Meatlug since he didn't want to turn into a girl. **"Thomefing'th wong!"**

**"What's wrong, Toothless?"** Hookfang asked.

**"I can't fire at the fingth any mowe. I think thomething'th wong with me,"** Toothless explained tearfully. Hookfang chuckled.

**"You're out of shots,"** Hookfang explained. **"It's perfectly normal and there's nothing wrong with you. Grown-up dragons get around five or six, but you're a hatchling, so you get three."**

**"Being a hatchwing thucks!"** Toothless whined. Hookfang was momentarily confused, but soon realized that baby Toothless had only said that being a hatchling sucked. Hookfang had a wicked idea.

**"Yeah, it totally sucks. Wanna know the worst part about being a hatchling?"** Hookfang asked.

**"What? What'th the wowthd pawt?"** Toothless asked.

**"The big dragons all think that you're very tasty and want to lick you,"** Hookfang grinned, as he started licking Toothless all over his tiny tummy and started nuzzling his miniscule, weak hatchling wings. Toothless screamed with laughter. Hookfang was quite easily the most sadistic tickler this island had to offer, and Toothless was his favourite victim at any age.

**"GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NO MOWE! PWEATHE! PWEHEHEHEHEHEATHE, HOOKFANG!"** Toothless begged, squirming. Tears of laughter leaked out of his eyes. Hookfang was about to step it up a notch when Toothless was snatched from him by a furious Stormfly.

**"What were you thinking?"** she snapped, snuggling Toothless and rocking him back and forth. **"He can't take that much! He's only a hatchling, for Thor's sake!"**

**"Id'th OK, Thdormfwy. Hookfang wath onwy pwaying with me,"** Toothless told her. Stormfly softened. She couldn't say no to that face.

**"If you insist,"** Stormfly smiled, letting Toothless and Hookfang play. It turned out Hookfang did have a soft side, but kept it hidden under a thin layer of bravado and aggressiveness. He let it out every once in a while for Toothless' sake. It was utterly adorable.

**"And sometimes, the other dragons think you're cute,"** Hookfang told him. Toothless squirmed with embarrassment.

**"I'm not cute,"** Toothless huffed, while unintentionally seeming absolutely adorable.

**"Let's find out,"** Hookfang smiled. **"Hey, Toothless! Wanna come to the feeding station with me to see if you're cute or not?"**

**"Yeah!"** Toothless agreed, sneaking out of the lesson. A baby Night Fury can go missing easily. An adult Monstrous Nightmare . . . not so much. Luckily, Hookfang had a plan. He set a few explosives on fire and let the chaos unfold. Not near Hiccup, mind you. Hookfang was mean, but he'd made Hiccup cry once and that was enough for him. **"Big boom, Hookfang! Wanna see!"** Toothless giggled.

**"No time, little one,"** Hookfang sighed. **"Come along."**

**"Aww!"** Toothless whined, but obeyed Hookfang. The two arrived at the feeding station with Toothless hidden under his wing. Hookfang went to look for a dragon that didn't seem to be doing anything important and decided to ask her a question. She was a sleeping purple Zippleback. She woke up in a bad mood thanks to him.

**"Hey, can I ask you something?"** Hookfang asked. **"On behalf of a little friend of mine."**

**"Ask your stupid question and get lost,"** the first head snapped.

**"Yeah, we don't like having our time wasted,"** the second head yawned.

**"Yeesh, I just want your opinion on something and then I'll go,"** Hookfang snapped. **"Quickly, be honest, do you think he's cute?"** He retracted his wing back so Toothless was visible.

**"Who? I don't see anybody; what about you?"** one head asked the other.

**"Me neither; I think he's lying to us,"** the other head replied.

**"He means me!"** Toothless yelped. **"Down here!"** The two heads looked down at Toothless . . . and their shared heart melted like a stick of butter.

**"Daww, such a cutie,"** one head cooed, snuggling him.

**"Toothless must be so proud,"** the other head smiled. The two heads believed that Toothless had had a hatchling, which they were currently snuggling.

**"But I am Toothweth,"** Toothless told her. The two heads freaked out.

**"How is this possible?"** they chorused. Hookfang led them away so they could talk.

**"My human gave him and his human special berries that turned him into a baby and made him forget everything about his life,"** Hookfang hurriedly explained. **"He doesn't remember being an adult, so just treat him like a hatchling. It's easier because he is one now."** The Zippleback nodded and went back to Toothless, who was very scared now.

**"Awe you mad? Did I do thomething wong?"** he asked. The Zippleback's heart felt like it was about to explode. He was just so cute.

**"Of course not, sweetie pie,"** both heads cooed. **"We just needed to talk for a little while, you precious little hatchling."** Toothless whined with embarrassment.

**"Not a pwethiouth widdwe hatchwing!"** he huffed.

**"Yes, you are, you little cutie!"** they cooed. Toothless pouted, looking at the floor.

**"I don't want to be called a thweetie or a pwethiouth widdwe hatchwing. Id'th annoying,"** Toothless huffed. Hookfang knew what he meant. All the pet names were very patronising towards the young hatchling.

**"Well, what do you want other dragons to call you?"** Hookfang asked.

**"They can call me Toothless,"** Toothless told Hookfang.

**"But that's your name,"** Hookfang pointed out.

**"I know!"** Toothless replied. Hookfang grinned. Even as a baby, Toothless was smart.

**"You're pretty clever, kid,"** Hookfang smiled. Toothless chirped happily, grinning up at Hookfang. Someone had used a good word about him that wasn't cute! They called him clever! Toothless squealed with glee and snuggled Hookfang. Hookfang snuggled him back. The moment could have lasted forever . . . and that was when Stormfly, Snotlout and Astrid came flying over. Hiccup was in Astrid's arms.

"Hookfang, Toothless, there you are! Why did you leave?" Astrid sighed. "Come on, you two!"

**"What were you thinking, abducting Toothless? We were worried sick about him!"** Stormfly scolded.

"Hookfang, you are in so much trouble!" Snotlout snapped. "You are on limpets for a month!"

"Toothweth! Buddy!" Hiccup cooed.

**"Hiccup!"** Toothless smiled, flying the short distance over to Hiccup so they could share a hug. It was so sweet. Hookfang would have wanted to watch it a little more, but then he was being dragged away.

"Come on, you," Snotlout snarled, taking him away. Hiccup and Toothless were playing and weren't paying attention as Hookfang was dragged away to the arena, where he would be staying the night. "You are in so much trouble," Snotlout muttered.

**"Oh, fish guts,"** Hookfang sighed. **"I'm in it deep."**

* * *

Once they knew Toothless was safe, Stormfly and Meatlug started to ask a few questions. **"Did you get hurt, sweetie?"** Stormfly asked.

**"I'm not thweedie, I'm Toothweth!"** Toothless replied.

**"You don't want us to call you sweetie?"** Meatlug asked. Toothless shook his head.

**"Not thweedie, not cutie, no thiwwy names. My name ith Toothweth,"** Toothless told them. Stormfly nodded. She would hate to make Toothless not want to go near her. He was just so cute and she loved spending time with him.

**"OK. Did you get hurt?"** Stormfly asked.

**"No,"** Toothless replied.

**"Why did you go with Hookfang, Toothless?"** Meatlug asked.

**"Hookfang wanthed me tho thee if I was cute or not by athking anothew dwagon ovew at the feeding thdathion,"** Toothless explained. **"He found a giwl dwagon that wooked wike Bawf and Bewlch but had puwple thcawes and he athked hew."**

**"And what did she say?"** Stormfly asked.

**"She thaid I wath a thweetie pie and a pwethiouth widdwe hatchwing,"** Toothless replied. **"She thought I was cute."**

**"So Hookfang took you with him so he could see if other dragons thought you were cute?"** Meatlug asked. Toothless nodded.

**"That is . . . a surprisingly sweet thing for Hookfang to do, even if he was only doing it to prove a point,"** Meatlug admitted.

**"And he's going to be punished enough by Snotlout. There's no need for us to do anything to him,"** Stormfly sighed. Toothless was elated.

**"Tho you's not going to be mean to Hookfang becauthe he wanted to pway with me? Tank woo!"** Toothless babbled, snuggling Stormfly, then Meatlug. The two were so happy that Toothless was being affectionate, but saddened at how he thought, in his infantile mind, that they would be cruel to Hookfang. They only meant to scold him for being so careless with a hatchling around. There would be no real cruelty from them.

**"Of course we won't,"** Stormfly smiled.

**"Why would you think that, little one?"** Meatlug cooed.

**"Becauthe . . . becauthe you thounded mad at him,"** Toothless admitted. The girls fawned over him, while feeling sick at themselves for making him think such a thing. They of all dragons should know how quickly hatchlings came to conclusions about the things they saw around them. Just then, Hookfang was roughly shoved into the arena, and Toothless rushed over to him to tell him the good news.

**"Hookfang! Thdormfwy and Meadwug will be nithe to you! They thaid tho!"** Toothless told him.

**"Wait, what?"** Hookfang asked, before he realized that he should probably just go with it. **"Wow, that's great! That's great, buddy!"**

**"Don't call me buddy, Hookfang. Hiccup callth me that,"** Toothless corrected.

**"Then what do I call you?"** Hookfang asked.

**"My name,"** Toothless answered. Hookfang grinned.

**"You're gonna go far, kid,"** Hookfang told him.

**"And I'm thakin' Hiccup with me ath thoon ath I can,"** Toothless told him. There was a gleam in his tiny green eyes that showed them that the baby Night Fury meant every word that he just said. **"Wait! Hiccup! He muthd be thcawed without me! But I don't know whewe he ith."** Toothless slumped onto the floor and started to whimper. **"Thith pwathe ith tho big, and Hiccup'th onwy widdwe."** Somehow, it didn't occur to Toothless that he was little, too.

**"Well, I'm big, too, so I'll help you,"** Stormfly told him.

**"Are you thuwe I won't become a giwl?"** Toothless asked, utterly terrified.

**"Of course not,"** Stormfly reassured, while glaring daggers at Hookfang. The blood red Monstrous Nightmare was trying his hardest not to laugh at the situation unfolding before him. **"Now, let's go find Hiccup."**

**"YAY! HICCUP!"** Toothless cheered, clambering onto Stormfly's head so he had a better view. Stormfly took off out of the arena, searching for one little baby in a little village, her view obscured by lots of very big dragons. She searched for Astrid, since she knew that her rider would have Hiccup close by. Stormfly saw her with Hiccup near the forge. The infantile brunette loved to watch Gobber work. **"Thdowmfwy! Down, pweathe!"**

**"Of course, Toothless,"** Stormfly smiled, as she landed next to her rider. Hiccup reached out to her . . . literally.

"Thdormfwy!" Hiccup babbled, rubbing her snout. Stormfly cooed, and Toothless jumped down and growled affectionately at him. "Toothweth! Buddy! C'mere!" Toothless squealed gleefully and waddled over, and the two hugged. Astrid looked at Stormfly with a wry smile.

"Did you bring Toothless here because he was distressed without Hiccup's presence?" Astrid asked.

**"I don't understand all the words you used, but I know what you're trying to say. The answer is yes, by the way,"** Stormfly replied, as the boys snuggled and petted each other. Suddenly, they began to yawn, their eyes drooping downwards. The babies were overtired and would be in need of an early bedtime.

"You seem tired," Astrid cooed. "Wanna go to sleep?" Both nodded. The tired brunette baby wanted one last snuggle from Astrid before leaving. Toothless did too. Both tried to show affection in their own way. Toothless smiled at her with the traditional gummy smile he would normally give, and Hiccup snuggled into Astrid's chest.

"Bye, Athdwid," Hiccup cooed, waving at her. Astrid waved back, smiling. Then she picked them up and walked them home. Besides, she had to. They were only babies and couldn't be left alone.

"How were they?" Stoick asked.

"Very well-behaved, as usual. Hiccup's still being Hiccup, and trained Toothless to shoot at some targets," Astrid happily reported. Stoick's eyebrows raised themselves to the middle of his forehead, before he remembered to treat them like he babies they currently were.

"Did they really? How clever!" the chief praised. Hiccup and Toothless giggled, before yawning and reaching out towards him. They wanted Daddy to take them up to their bed and tuck them in. "Come on, you two." Toothless and Hiccup were carried upstairs to the crib they shared, and soon, they fell asleep. Soft snores could be heard from their room, along with the slight grunts of discomfort Hiccup made while Toothless discreetly stole the blanket from him in his sleep.


	5. Babysitting for the boys

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks. This fanfiction is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.

A/N: Just to clear things up during the story, **bold** speech is when the dragons are talking, _italics _are for when the humans are thinking, and _**bold italics**_ are for when the dragons are thinking.

* * *

Stoick woke up one day to . . . nothing. No crying for Daddy, no giggling as they woke up and wanted to play with each other and generally look cute, just silence. He woke up and went in to check on them. They were still sleeping, the majority of the blanket being taken up by Toothless while Hiccup clutched onto a corner, apparently teething on it. It was adorable. He left them alone so they could nap. Sleeping babies were the best kind of baby, because they didn't cry or whine or puke or play with loud toys. When a baby finally slept, the parents could get stuff done. Stoick started with clearing away the toys they had left lying around, wiping away dragon drool on the surfaces (courtesy of Toothless), and hiding the sharp weapons. Sure, Stoick loved both of them to bits, but Hiccup and Toothless could get hurt. So they were put away. Since the berries had taken their effect, weapons had been swapped for an infant's toys. It was depressing and disappointing for a Viking to have to down weapons for anything other than sickness or death (their own, that is). Even new parents would keep a weapon at their side. But he knew times had changed and saw the reason for it, and they were filed away to the most baby-proofed place in the house: the attic.

As the very last dagger was squeezed into the attic, he heard a whimper from their room. The boys were awake. Apparently, today would not be a day that Stoick got a break from the boys. Oh, who was he kidding? He was and still is a parent, but the boy and dragon he'd slowly gotten used to walking around his house were a little different now. But that was OK, because they were still the same . . . just fun-sized now. "Here we go," Stoick sighed, going into their room. Once he went into their room, all whimpering ceased. Toothless and Hiccup looked up at him and smiled.

"Hewwo!" Hiccup smiled. "Daddy, you came!"

"Of course I came! I'm your daddy, remember?" Stoick smiled. "Breakfast and then a bath, or a bath and then breakfast?"

"Bweakfathd, den bath, pweathe!" Hiccup requested, smiling sweetly. Stoick smiled, and took Hiccup and Toothless downstairs for some much needed food. He insisted upon spoon-feeding Hiccup, which the baby protested every tiny step of the way.

"No! Nu-uh!" Hiccup huffed, turning his head away from the spoon. "Yucky!" Stoick sighed.

"Hiccup, you have to eat to grow up all big and healthy!" Stoick persuaded, using an ancient line all parents get familiar with when dealing with young children. Hiccup wasn't buying it. Little kids never do. Apparently, every adult trying to give them vegetables is trying to poison them.

"Yucky! Not mine! Cookie!" Hiccup demanded.

"You can't have cookies for breakfast, Hiccup. It's not good for you, especially in the morning."

"Cookie."

"No, Hiccup."

"Cookie."

Stoick sighed, inwardly embarrassed at his failure to reason with an infant. "Like I said, you have to eat your breakfast so-"

"COOKIE!" Hiccup yelled, slamming his tiny baby fist onto the table. Stoick knew that reason was getting him nowhere, so he tried to play with his infant son while also feeding him.

"Hiccup, you want to see a flying Night Fury?" Stoick asked. That got Hiccup's attention. The baby nodded frantically.

"Here comes the Night Fury flying into its nest, with lots of food for its hungry hatchlings! Rawr!" Stoick baby-talked. Hiccup giggled and opened his mouth for the spoon of baby food to be shovelled in. Hiccup swallowed and opened his mouth for another Night Fury to land inside its special nest. From there, feeding time was a breeze and Stoick wondered why he didn't think of this sooner. It worked really well with Hiccup.

"Buddy! Night Fuwy fwy in nethd!" Hiccup babbled. Toothless didn't know he was talking about the game Stoick had hurriedly invented, and took it literally.

**"Whewe? I wanna thee the othew Night Fuwieth wike me!"** Toothless babbled, waddling over to the window and looking around. He deflated like a modern-day balloon with a hole in it. **"Oh. Thewe'th nothing thewe."**

"Buddy, come pway with me!" Hiccup pleaded. Toothless forgot about the lack of other Night Furies and went to lick Hiccup. He was obsessed with Hiccup smelling just like him. Stoick picked him up and carried him away from Hiccup, making them both bawl.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! TOOTHWETH! BUDDY!" Hiccup wailed.

**"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HICCUP! WANNA PWAY!"** Toothless sobbed, struggling to get away from the big meanie (Stoick) that was separating them. But Stoick was stronger than Toothless now, and he carried him into the next room. Although they didn't know it, Hiccup would soon be reunited with Toothless. It was just so the chief's infant son wouldn't be covered in a baby dragon's drool. It was also going to be half an hour, but things changed.

"All right, you whiny baby, over you go," Stoick muttered, carrying him over to Toothless. The babies squealed with delight, and Hiccup leaned out of his father's arms to try and touch Toothless' snout. Stoick rolled his eyes (he'd been doing that a lot since the boys had become babies) and put them down on the floor. The boys crawled over to the toy box and started looking for their favourite toys. Hiccup found the ball that jingled and bounced and Toothless tried to catch the shiny light that flew around the room and stayed away from him all the time. (In reality, Stoick had utilized Hiccup's invention to make a small beam of light dart around the room and was letting Toothless play with it.) The two giggled as they played separately, occasionally crossing paths and playing together with the ball. Then they found the best thing to play with: a huge grey blanket that was fuzzy and warm and just reminded them of home. Toothless somehow wrapped himself and Hiccup in the blanket like an adorable babyish burrito and started rolling around the room, giggling and squealing. During the rough and tumble of it all, Hiccup and Toothless were unravelled from the blanket and they started snuggling. That made up the majority of their day, snuggling and being the cutest living things alive. They had to be stripped down for a bath, and they couldn't resist playing there, too.

**"Funny bubbweth!"** Toothless giggled, swatting at them. Hiccup copied him. For some reason, babies always wanted to copy what other babies did.

"Daddy, I wike the bubbweth," Hiccup cooed.

"I know. That's why I put in lots of bubbles, because you like them," Stoick explained calmly. Hiccup squealed and reached out for his precious father.

"Tank woo!" Hiccup blurted out, happily. "You'we nithe!"

"I know," Stoick smiled, as he scrubbed Hiccup and Toothless with a wet towel. Once they were clean and smelling of roses, they were taken out and dried with a fluffy towel. Hiccup basked in the warmth and fluffiness of it while Toothless tried to hide underneath this confusing blanket. But then Hiccup couldn't see his friend. The lack of object permanence made him whimper with fear at the thought of losing his buddy, and the whimpering forced Toothless to come back out from under the towel and see what was going on.

**"Hiccup, why you tho thad?"** Toothless asked. Hiccup stopped crying immediately and smiled. He started scratching Toothless' neck and back, making Toothless purr with pure pleasure. **"Thath'th nithe."**

"You wike thith, buddy?" Hiccup teased. "You wike the thcwatcheth?"

**"Uh huh,"** Toothless agreed, in heaven. **"Tho nithe! Mowe, pweathe!"**

"Mowe thcwatcheth fow my widdwe buddy," Hiccup sang, scratching Toothless into oblivion. Toothless collapsed into a purring black mess, an adorable green-eyed purring puddle of a hatchling. Stoick pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Odin, please send someone to help me with these children. They're sweet, but a handful," Stoick sighed. As if the gods themselves had willed it, there was a knock at the door. He got up to answer it and saw Gobber on the other side. He sighed with relief. "Thank the gods for you! The boys are running me ragged!"

"You need to get to the Great Hall for a dispute settlement. I'll handle them," Gobber sighed. He put on a happy face and went in to see them. "Hello, you two!"

"Hewwo, Gobbew!" Hiccup greeted, waving at the blacksmith. Toothless imitated him.

"I'm going to be staying with you for today," Gobber explained. "I'll feed you and play with you. What's the first thing you want me to do for you?" Suddenly and without warning, Hiccup and Toothless' eyes glazed over. Then they squeezed shut. All was quiet for a few moments, and then . . .

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

Their diapers suddenly and inexplicably had a brown stain in the backs.

SSSSSSSSSSSSS!

And now there was a yellow stain in the front. Gobber gagged from the smell. Two sweet boys worked together to create one horrific smell.

"G-Gobbew, I thdinky!" Hiccup whimpered.

"I noticed," he sighed, as he got to work. Once Hiccup and Toothless had been changed and smelled as sweet as ever, they wanted to play.

"Gobbew! We wanna pway!" Hiccup babbled. He was leading the two babies today, or at least for now. He crawled over to a toybox, pulled himself up on the edge and pulled out his favourite jangling ball. The boys squealed and giggled at the sight of it. They tried to pass the ball to each other and cooing happily. It was so cute. Gobber smiled at them, playing so happily together. Then Hiccup took the ball and handed it to Gobber.

"For me?" Gobber asked, pretending to be flattered. "Oh, thank you, Hiccup!"

"Pway with uth, pweathe?" Hiccup asked, looking up at the one-armed, one-legged blacksmith with green eyes full of hope. The blonde smithy couldn't resist. They were just adorable.

"Oh, why not?" he muttered, as he got on the floor to pass a ball around to a few babies. "What's the harm? They're babies; they can't do anything."

He was so, so wrong.

* * *

"STOP! STOP! BAD BOYS!" Gobber wailed, as Toothless set things on fire while Hiccup contented himself for knocking a few stools over. Not being a dragon meant there was only so much destruction he could do when he wanted to. The tired blacksmith ran around putting out literal fires around the house while the babies laughed hysterically at how Gobber looked. "You're so cute when you want to be, but Stoick never said anything about you being this badly behaved!"

"Gobbew ith pwaying with uth!" Hiccup cheered.

"Yes, yes, now stop setting things on fire!" Gobber begged. "Or . . . I won't tell you why I have a metal hand!" Both of the babies stopped in their tracks. This was big. They both sat down in front of Gobber and allowed him to tell the story of his missing hand . . . with a few vital edits. "It happened when I was very young. I went into the woods to hunt for trolls."

"Thwowwth!" Hiccup squealed, clapping his tiny, pudgy baby hands.

"Yes, trolls!" Gobber insisted. "There were twenty of them, with horrible ugly faces and all of them over seven feet tall! We got into a huge fight!"

"Gobbew, you fight them?" Hiccup asked. "Tho cool!"

"Of course I fought them," Gobber proudly embellished. "You think I just took the beating? I fought them, and just as I beat the last one up, I looked at my arm - and my hand was gone!"

**"Whoa!"** Toothless yelped. Hiccup's hand flew to his mouth with shock. _Just like an adult would do,_ Gobber thought.

"The troll took my hand!" Gobber yelled. "One minute it was there, and the next minute . . . gone! Poof!"

"Poof!" Hiccup repeated, giggling.

"Oh, don't you laugh at me!" Gobber yelled. The babies laughed harder. "That better not be laughter I hear!" The babies were basically in hysterics at Gobber's feigned anger. "Everything about your demeanour is rude and intolerable!" Hiccup was about to collapse laughing, so Gobber had to hold up both him and Toothless. They, very slowly, were able to calm down. "So cold and callous a reaction I have never seen!" That set them off again, and it led to them both having an accident (as babies often do). Another yellow stain slowly grew until it covered the entirety of the front of their diapers. They stopped laughing now. Gobber shushed them and got to work changing their wet diapers. No baby was getting diaper rash on his watch. Besides, Stoick would kill him.

"I'm sowwy," Hiccup whispered.

**"I'm sowwy too,"** Toothless shyly admitted.

"It's fine, lads. I've seen worse diapers than yours," Gobber soothed, and he wasn't lying. He'd babysat Snotlout once. Emphasis on _once_. Snotlout was a little terror as a baby and is a much bigger terror now. And the stink was worse than both of them, and he was only one baby with one butt. And the less said about the Thorston twins as babies, the better. "You want to play again?"

"Yay!" Hiccup cheered, stretching as much as he could . . . before suddenly shivering. He was cold in just a diaper and a thin shirt. Gobber turned away to get a bear fur for warmth, but when he looked at Hiccup again, Toothless was snuggling him in his wings. It was, admittedly, pretty sweet. But he still needed to use the bear fur.

"One last loose bit to tuck in and . . . there you go," Gobber smiled, as he wrapped Hiccup and Toothless in the same bear fur while they were still snuggling. They didn't say anything. No giggling, no screaming, no babbling of babyish words while lisping at least half of the consonants, nothing. That was because they were asleep. He gently carried them upstairs the best he could with one arm, and tucked them into bed.

"I wasn't expecting such an early nap, but sweet dreams anyway," Gobber whispered, patting their heads. Then he went downstairs and sat down on his friend's armchair. He was just resting his eyes. He wasn't going to sleep, not at all!

* * *

Stoick came home that night to quiet. It was far too quiet. He should at least be able to hear the babble of baby talk or the maniacal stories Gobber told them. It was custom for them to hear the crash of furniture being toppled by a clumsy baby dragon. The first person he saw was Gobber, asleep on his favourite chair. He smiled and then went to check on the babies. They'd been wrapped up in a bear fur and snuggled together for warmth and comfort. He went back downstairs and shook Gobber awake.

"H-huh? What?" Gobber mumbled, stirring from his sleep. "Ah, Stoick! You're-you're back!"

"How were they?" Stoick asked.

"Adorable," Gobber praised, yawning as he got up and staggered to the door. "I'd babysit them any time." With that, he left the house. Stoick went upstairs one more time to check on the boys and then go to sleep himself.

"Good night, little ones," Stoick whispered. "Please don't wake me up at night. I'm tired as all Hel."

"OK, Daddy," Hiccup cooed. Stoick didn't know if his son was awake or sleep-talking, but he was spooked. He really needed that night's sleep.


	6. Split up

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks. This fanfiction is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.

A/N: Just to clear things up during the story, **bold** speech is when the dragons are talking, _italics _are for when the humans are thinking, and _**bold italics**_ are for when the dragons are thinking.

* * *

The chief woke up to a whimpering pair of babies. Fearing the worst, he checked on them immediately, only to find that they were trying to get out of the crib. They wanted to play, and outside at that. "Daddy, I wanna pway!" Hiccup pleaded, tiny hands straining for his father's finger.

"Play? With . . . Astrid, maybe?" Stoick asked. Hiccup nodded. Toothless rolled over from his back to his tummy so he could see Hiccup better. "Play with some of the big dragons like when you're in the training lessons?"

"Yay! Athdwid and dwagonth!" Hiccup cheered. Toothless snuggled him. "Thath'th the bethd day evew! Tank woo, Daddy!"

"You're welcome," Stoick told him. The boys were always so easy to please.

**"We goin' to thee the othew dwagonth?"** Toothless asked. **"That'th good!"** The dragon's tail wagged, and Hiccup grabbed the scaly appendage. It looked funny and interesting. **"OWW! NO!"**

"Ooh," Hiccup cooed, his tiny green eyes filled with wonder. "The taiw wooks funny!" He giggled and cooed as he probed Toothless' tailfins. He had two of them now and not one. Toothless squealed with pain and ran away to Stormfly. Stormfly would make it better. He was out of the house before anyone was able to catch him.

* * *

On his quest to find Stormfly, he bumped into a Gronckle. He squealed and giggled, thinking it was Meatlug. He tried to hug this dragon. **"Yay! I found you! Pway with me, pweathe! I wanna pway!"** he pleaded, staring up at who he assumed was Meatlug with big, adoring green eyes. Then the Gronckle turned around, and Toothless realized, to his shock, that this was certainly not Meatlug. This Gronckle wasn't the right colour (bright green and not mud brown). It wasn't even a girl dragon!

**"What do you want, you little brat?"** the Gronckle snapped. Toothless backed away from the angry Gronckle, but it was too late. He was far too mad. This Gronckle studied the scared hatchling's face and recognized him. This was Toothless, the Night Fury, who was a hatchling now . . . somehow. He'd have to make the most of this. Hel, maybe it was permanent! **"Why are you so close to me?"**

**"I'm thowwy! I thought you were Meadwug!"** Toothless apologized.

**"You're being a nuisance,"** the unnamed Gronckle growled. **"Pathetic little brats like you ought to be seen and not heard!"**

**"Pa . . . Path-"** Toothless stammered, shocked and scared.

**"Shut up, you burden! Do you have any idea how annoying you are! Now get out of my sight before I eat you!"** the cruel dragon threatened. Crying, Toothless stumbled away. He really needed to find Meatlug now. Meatlug would make things better.

He found Hookfang instead. He ran over to the red Monstrous Nightmare while he was napping and cried hysterically. Hookfang woke up and tried to comfort Toothless. **"Hey, Toothless, what happened? Are you hurt?"** Hookfang ran through all possibilities of what could have made the little dragon cry. He didn't think that there could be a who.

**"Mean dwagon, Hookfang!"** Toothless wailed. Tears flowed down the Night Fury's face. **"A mean big dwagon thaid I wath a pathethic widdwe bwat and a nuithanthe and I wath annoying!"** Hookfang was livid. It was a new level of disgusting for a grown dragon to pick on a defenceless hatchling.

**"Where is he?"** Hookfang asked. **"Take me to him."** Toothless directed Hookfang to the feeding station, but the mean dragon had gone.

**"He'th gone,"** Toothless sighed, disappointed. **"He thaid I wath a buwden. What'th a buwden?"** Hookfang felt physically sick. Hatchlings weren't supposed to hear such things being said, and definitely not about them. This dragon had to pay.

**"That's not important and you're definitely not a burden. Don't worry about it, little guy. How did they look?"** Hookfang asked, trying to distract Toothless. Luckily, it worked.

**"He wooked wike Meadwug and he wath the thame thize and age, but wath a boy dwagon and wath bwight gween,"** Toothless told them.

_**Green Gronckle, male, roughly the same age and size as Meatlug,**_ Hookfang thought, noting down details that he thought would be useful. He then turned to Toothless and smiled. **"Never mind, buddy. I have something for us to do."**

**"What?"** Toothless asked. Hookfang pinned Toothless down and started licking him. It was very important that Toothless smelled as much like him as possible so it was easier to find him. A tiny Night Fury's scent could get lost around a bunch of bigger dragons with much stronger scents, so he had to be licked . . . a lot. **"GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HOOKFANG! TOOHOOHOOHOOHOO TICKLY-HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!"**

**"You have to smell just like me so I can find you easier,"** Hookfang explained, teasing the Night Fury. **"It's not my fault you're so ticklish! Daww, who's my ticklish little Night Fury?"** Hookfang loved taunting Toothless about this. He wasn't in any position to get away, either. Hookfang was bigger than Toothless even when Toothless was an adult (well, nearly), so he didn't stand a chance now he was a hatchling. Besides, it was actually really fun to mess with him. He was so cute. (Not that he'd ever tell Toothless that to his face.)

**"AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HOOHOOHOOKFAHAHAHAHANG! NO MOWE! PWEHEHEHEHEHEHEATHE!"**

**"Answer the question, Toothless. Who's my ticklish little Night Fury?"**

**"MEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!"** By now, Hookfang had gone from just licking Toothless so he smelled more like him to outright torturing him. Sure, he still used his tongue, but now his claws and tail were being used, too. The poor Night Fury was in hysterics, and it was all Hookfang's fault. Stormfly casually went over to talk to Hookfang, but found him torturing Toothless and those maternal instincts she had meant she had to step in.

**"Get off him! Poor little guy, are you OK?"** Stormfly fussed over Toothless as if he was her own hatchling. **"Hookfang, do you have any idea how much bigger you are than him?"**

**"A little,"** Hookfang grinned, as Toothless gasped for air, still giggling.

**"You just don't know your own strength, you know that? I know you like to roughhouse, but you should take into account Toothless' size,"** Stormfly scolded. **"What is it about you boys that makes you want to roughhouse so much?"**

**"It'th fun, Thdormfwy!"** Toothless insisted, lisping quite clearly.

**"Hatchling's got a point. Guys like doing this because it's fun,"** Hookfang explained, grinning impishly. Toothless' face mirrored that of his blood-red male role model, because that was what Hookfang had (albeit unintentionally) become to Toothless. Toothless looked up to him and thought he was just so cool. He was so incredible, as far as Toothless was concerned. And Toothless was a hatchling, so he wasn't concerned about anything. Hookfang was a nice big dragon that played with him generally whenever he wanted, so that was all it took for Toothless to accept him as a friend and mentor.

**"Oh, for Thor's sake,"** Stormfly sighed, turning around and bumping into Barf and Belch.

**"Hey, Stormfly,"** Barf and Belch greeted in unison, sounding tired despite it still being the morning. Then they saw Toothless and lit up. **"Hey, Toothless! How are you, little buddy?"**

**"Hewwo!"** Toothless squealed, getting up on his weak and shaky back legs to wave at the Zippleback like a human would. **"You theen a gween Gwonckwe anywhewe?"**

**"Yeah, there's one at the feeding station ranting and raving about how everyone's hatchlings are far too loud and should be seen and not heard,"** Barf informed them.

**"I wemembew him! He thaid I wath a buwden and a widdwe bwat and - and he athked me 'Do you have any idea how annoying you awe?' He doethn't wike me,"** Toothless sighed. The green Zippleback hated this dragon immediately.

**"You need to come with me, Toothless,"** Barf and Belch chorused. **"You should come too."** The group of dragons went over to the feeding station, where they found the same dragon ranting at three terrified hatchlings.

**"You little brats!"** the unnamed green Gronckle yelled, as the hatchlings snuggled together for warmth and comfort. **"How are you too stupid to understand that I don't want to see you?"** The three hatchlings were a purple Nadder, a blue Monstrous Nightmare and a red Gronckle, and they were terrified. Toothless just couldn't take any more. He wasn't scared now. He was mad.

**"You'we a meanie! Go away!"** Toothless yelled. Dragons stopped and stared. This hatchling had a lot of nerve . . . and they liked it.

**"What did you say?"** the ornery Gronckle growled.

**"You'we mean! Weave them awone!"** Toothless demanded. The hatchlings looked at him as a hero. The Gronckle snickered at him.

**"You're in no position to tell me what to do,"** he chuckled. He sounded mean, but Toothless wasn't deterred.

**"I can't thell you whath tho do, but the othew big dwagonth can, and if theiw mumth and dadth come here to thee that you'we mean, they'll be mad at you!"** Toothless told him. Hookfang had to step in at that point. Nobody messed with Toothless on his watch.

**"He might have to keep quiet, but I won't. You're a bully,"** Hookfang told them, and other dragons murmured in agreement. **"Now go before I make you."**

**"Fine,"** the dragon huffed, as he flew away. Dragons whooped and cheered when he left. The hatchlings that Toothless stood up for started playing with him. The playing soon became an all-out tickle war with Toothless as the biggest and only casualty.

**"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EEHEEHEEHEEHEEP! NO!"** Toothless laughed. Hookfang would have to make sure that his charge didn't get hurt along the way, so he supervised from a distance. The purple Nadder nuzzled his babyish tummy, the blue Monstrous Nightmare blew raspberries near his neck and let his tail probe the soles of his feet. The red Gronckle held him down. Tears of laughter leaked out of his eyes and Hookfang decided that was enough.

**"OK, time to stop playing, Toothless needs to go home,"** Hookfang hurriedly excused, as he scooped the Night Fury up and took him back to the big human nest (more commonly known as a house) that his rider lived in. Toothless guided him all the way there.

**"It'th thewe! I can thmell Hiccup!"** Toothless squealed. Hookfang took the hatchling right to the door of the big human nest and tapped it. He could hear wailing from inside. Astrid came to the door looking tired, and her face lit up the moment she saw Toothless.

"Toothless! Oh, thank you, Hookfang!" Astrid cooed, scratching that special sweet spot that he liked. "Stay there!" she ordered, as she delivered Toothless to a wailing Hiccup. Then Astrid got Hookfang a few handfuls of salmon as a thank-you. "Here you go, Hookfang, you clever dragon!"

**"Thank you for the compliment,"** Hookfang grinned, eating the fish and flying away. Back in the house, Hiccup honestly believed that Toothless ran away because he was being bad and he had to be very good or he would go away again.

"I'm sowwy, buddy! I'm going tho be the bethd pewthon evew tho you don't think I'm a meanie and go away again. Doth thith feew nithe?" Hiccup babbled, as he scratched Toothless' tummy. Toothless was in heaven.

**"Nithe thcwatcheth,"** Toothless moaned. **"Wove woo, Hiccup."**

"Buddy, I wove woo," Hiccup babbled, snuggled. "Thoothweth, I's tiwed." Hiccup began to yawn, and since yawning is contagious, Toothless began to yawn too. The two snuggled as close to each other as they could as began to drift off to sleep, gurgling and cooing babyishly until they were both asleep on the hard wooden floor, eyes closed and limbs interwoven as a sort of protection. Astrid walked into the room was struck by the intense wave of cuteness she was exposed to.

"Oh, sweetie, this is no place to sleep," Astrid sighed, taking them up to their room and placing them in their crib, as they slept through being moved from one room to another. Or at least, Toothless slept through it. Hiccup slowly woke up and stared up at Astrid.

"Athdwid?" Hiccup whispered. Astrid looked at Hiccup and smiled. "Awe you going now?"

"Yes, honey," Astrid replied.

"Bye-bye," Hiccup whispered, waving with his free right arm. Astrid waved back.

"Bye-bye, sweetie. Go to sleep now," Astrid cooed. Satisfied, Hiccup yawned and snuggled, his eyes closing. Astrid smiled as she tucked them in. Then she stayed in their room to watch over them.

* * *

"How were they?" Stoick asked, when he came home.

"Utterly perfect, as normal. If I could take them home, I would, and so would anyone else," Astrid happily reported. Stoick smiled at the good news while Astrid left to go home.

"Maybe you two being given these berries isn't so bad," Stoick admitted.


	7. Infant interviews

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks. This fanfiction is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.

A/N: Just to clear things up during the story, **bold** speech is when the dragons are talking, _italics _are for when the humans are thinking, and _**bold italics**_ are for when the dragons are thinking.

* * *

The boys chose to sleep in for once, snuggling each other and generally looking adorable. Stoick knew that if he wanted them to stay quiet and content, then he'd have to tread lightly around the house. But treading lightly wasn't something he was good at, being a big guy, so the most reasonable way of prolonging their slumber was to not ever go near the stairs, that betrayed his presence by creaking (in his opinion) far too loudly. He would just sit in his room and get changed, trying not to wake them.

However, that would prove to be futile, since the boys would wake themselves. "Buddy?" Hiccup asked, looking at Toothless' sleeping form. "Buddy, wanna pway!" Toothless slowly stirred, and chirped gleefully at the sight of Hiccup's face.

**"Hiccup!"** Toothless squealed, licking his face. Stoick rolled his eyes as he now knew that the baby boys were wide awake. He looked at the boys cooing and snuggling close to each other and hated to separate them. But he would have to. Astrid, Fishlegs and the other teens would be coming over soon and they had to be fed and clean before then. The boys looked at Stoick and smiled innocently as he came in to pick them up and give them breakfast. The chief played 'Here comes the Night Fury flying to its nest' with Hiccup while Toothless ate independently.

"Come on, Hiccup, just a few more," Stoick persuaded. Hiccup gurgled as a trickle of baby food ran down his face and stopped at his chin. Stoick wiped it away before he got to his clothes and gave his son another spoonful of vegetable-filled baby soup. Hiccup reached to his best friend eating on the floor and smiled.

"Buddy, come hewe! Wanna hug you!" Hiccup squealed. Toothless tried to eat his food really fast so he could hug Hiccup, but Stoick held him in one hand and Hiccup in the other.

"Not now, boys," Stoick sighed. "You eat your food and then you can play and hug each other all you want, OK?" Hiccup nodded and tried to feed himself, but Stoick wouldn't allow it. "Oh, Thor's backside, no. Just one more little bit for you to eat . . . swallow that, Hiccup, there's a good lad . . . what a good boy!" Stoick congratulated. Hiccup pleaded to be put on the floor so he could play. He loved hugging Toothless, and they were about to get started with a tower of blocks when there was a knock at the door. Stoick got it. Astrid was the one who greeted him.

"Good morning, sir," Astrid greeted cheerily. Hiccup and Toothless were excited almost immediately. Astrid was here and she was one of their favourite people! (Aside from each other, of course.)

"Athdwid!" Hiccup squeaked, leaning towards the blonde girl as much as his tiny body would allow without falling on his face. "Pway, pweathe!"

"Hiccup, Toothless, wanna come with me?" Astrid asked, knowing the answer she would receive. They would never even think of saying no.

"Yeth, pweathe! Pway with you!" Hiccup begged. Astrid scooped them up, nodded to Stoick, and took them away. The other villagers and dragons were eager to greet the island's cutest residents, and they weren't at all shy about saying so.

**"Hello there, sweeties!"**

"Astrid's so lucky to be able to stay with them for so long!"

**"Hi, precious! Wanna play with me? I promise I'll be really gentle just for you."**

"Mama, can we keep them? They're so cute and I wanna play with them!"

Astrid ignored them all and took them to the other teenagers and their dragons, who were so happy to see them. "Here they are!" Astrid introduced, setting Hiccup down on the floor next to her. Toothless got to play with their dragons under close supervision.

"Hewwo!" Hiccup squealed, waving at them. The teenagers waved back, lost in the cuteness of his eyes.

"Hiccup, we want to ask you a few questions, OK?" Astrid explained.

"OK!" Hiccup agreed.

"Who's your best friend?" Astrid asked, knowing the answer.

"Toothweth ith! He'th my bethd buddy evew!" Hiccup proudly told them.

"Awww," the other teenagers cooed. Snotlout, however, was unimpressed and wanted to ask Hiccup a question of his own.

"Hiccup, what would you do if Astrid and your daddy and Toothless and everyone you like was gone?" Snotlout asked. Hiccup was shocked. Everyone else was just confused that Snotlout was so willing to go for the hypothetical, theoretical questions that may be too complicated for a baby, and shocked that he suggested a world where the baby version of Hiccup had all his favourite people (and Toothless) gone. Hiccup seemed to be more shocked than anyone.

"Evewyone I wike?" Hiccup blurted out, horrified at the thought of all his loved ones going away. His bottom lip jutted out and his eyes watered.

"Everyone you like." Snotlout nodded in confirmation.

"Tho it'th juthd me and you now?"

"Yes - wait, what?" Snotlout spluttered, as everyone else laughed.

"BURN!" the twins laughed.

"Clever boy!" Astrid cooed.

"Not fair!" Snotlout complained. "Hiccup was never like this before!"

"Teenaged Hiccup was never like this before. Baby Hiccup speaks his mind all the time," Fishlegs corrected. "Very interesting."

"Shut up, Fishface," Snotlout huffed.

"No, that's Fithwegth," Hiccup corrected, oblivious to the fact that Snotlout was insulting the chubby statistician. "But you'we awmothd thewe, big guy." Everyone in earshot lost it, and howled with laughter.

"Holy Thor, this is utterly priceless! Even as a baby, Hiccup is correcting Snotlout!" Tuffnut laughed.

"Such a clever cutie!" Ruffnut cooed, pinching Hiccup's cheek. A smile lit up the baby's face, and Snotlout pouted in the background.

* * *

Meanwhile, Toothless was also answering some questions from older dragons, who all badly wanted to adopt him. He was such a sweet, well-behaved baby Night Fury, after all, an utter delight.

**"So, Toothless, I'd like to ask you a few questions,"** Stormfly started, but Toothless was already gone. **"And it seems the first question I have to ask you today is - where are you? Seriously, Toothless, where are you?"**

**"Thdormfwy!"** Toothless giggled, as he hung upside down from one of Hookfang's horns by his tail. **"Wook at me! I'th upthide-down!"** The Deadly Nadder looked up and glared at him.

**"Get down from there, Toothless! Hookfang, why are you allowing this?"** Stormfly huffed.

**"Because he refuses to listen to me,"** Hookfang admitted. Stormfly grinned.

**"Serves you right for having no proper rules,"** the blue Nadder remarked as she looked at Toothless. **"Toothless, get down from there right now or I won't let you have any more haddock."** That did it. Toothless looked up (well, down, really) at Stormfly and whimpered with fear.

**"I'm thowwy,"** he whimpered, his eyes wide. **"I be good now, I pwomithe."** He got down and snuggled next to Hookfang, terrified. Stormfly was finally able to ask Toothless some questions.

**"Toothless, who's your best friend?"** Stormfly asked. Toothless had an answer for that immediately.

**"Hiccup! We'we buddieth!"** Toothless proudly told her.

**"And who's the nicest dragon here?"** Stormfly asked, expecting him to say it was her. It had to be her! She was the one who did all the snuggling!

**"Hookfang!"** Toothless squealed. Stormfly gasped with pure shock. Hookfang had the biggest smile imaginable on his face as he picked Toothless up. The little Night Fury squealed hysterically as he was thrown up in the air and caught by the doting surrogate father that Hookfang was to him. **"He pwayth with me and we have tho much fun!"**

**"How cute,"** Meatlug gushed. **"Hookfang has a soft side."**

**"I am never letting you live this down, Hookfang,"** Barf snickered.

**"What else does Hookfang do, little guy?"** Belch eagerly asked, since Toothless was officially the fount of all gossip to them now. Babies noticed a lot, and this would be utterly hilarious.

**"He theacheth me thduff,"** Toothless told them. **"He thold me tho nevew wisthen tho anything a therdain gween Zippweback thayth to me becauthe it'th all wong and the dumb Zippweback nevew gedth anything wight."** That shut them up fast.

**"Do you know who he's talking about?"** they choked out. Toothless shook his head.

**"He nevew thaid any names. I'm confuthed. He thoundth wike you, though,"** Toothless mused, trying to join up the dots. Hookfang tried his hardest not to laugh. Toothless was adorably oblivious.

**"You have no idea, huh?"** Stormfly asked Toothless, while glaring at Hookfang. The next time she spoke, it was addressed to him. **"Honestly, you know that playing is all well and good, but he has to get used to affection, too."**

**"What for?"** Hookfang asked. Stormfly sighed.

**"It's gone completely over your head, hasn't it?"** Stormfly groaned. Toothless jumped in immediately to correct her.

**"Nuh-uh, Thdowmfwy! Nothing goeth ovew Hookfang'th head!"** he asserted.

**"And why's that?"** Stormfly asked, thinking that Toothless was going to come up with a crazy and infantile reason as to why it wasn't going over Hookfang's head. She was right.

**"He'th too big,"** Toothless stated, as if the reason anything went over anyone's heads was because of their size. Hookfang almost lost it, but still tried to congratulate Toothless for his . . . astute explanation.

**"Yes, Toothless, that is exactly how that works. Good job,"** Hookfang encouraged. **"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go into the forest to . . . calm myself down."** He flew off into the forest to laugh hysterically like a crazy dragon. . . far away from Toothless. Toothless could never know how Hookfang really felt, or he'd be utterly crushed. Toothless, meanwhile, was being snuggled and teased by Barf and Belch.

**"YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"** Toothless squealed, as he was thoroughly licked like he was their little precious bundle of cuteness. Honestly, with all the scent-marking they were doing, any dragon just flying by would think that they were attempting to adopt him! Toothless smelled like Barf and Belch now and not Hookfang (something that would no doubt infuriate Hookfang).

**"Come on, little guy, we're just trying to play with you,"** Barf teased, poking his tummy.

**"Loosen up, baby boo,"** Belch cooed, playing with his ribs. Toothless screamed with laughter and thrashed around. But he was a hatchling and Barf and Belch were approaching adulthood. He wasn't going anywhere.

**"GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HEWP!"** Toothless squealed. **"HOOKFANG!"** The red Monstrous Nightmare heard the pleas of his little one and came flying back immediately.

**"What the Thor are you doing to Toothless?"** Hookfang growled, setting himself on fire. Barf and Belch stepped backwards, finally letting Toothless breathe. **"You OK, little guy?"**

**"Yeah. Why wouldn't you wet them pway with me wike that, Hookfang? You pway with me wike that a wot,"** Toothless asked.

**"Playing with you like that is my job, and they were doing it wrong. You're supposed to be like this,"** Hookfang grinned, before pinning Toothless down and giving the biggest, longest, strongest raspberry that Toothless had ever experienced. Toothless screamed with laughter, and just like that, Toothless was his again. And Hookfang's first order of business was to get Barf and Belch's scent off Toothless' tiny, ticklish body ASAP. **"Oh, they've been so bad to you. You smell just like them and that cannot happen,"** Hookfang sighed, licking Toothless' tiny little body as much as possible. He was good at acting disappointed all while torturing his little one as much as he could. Or maybe Toothless was too gullible to tell. Maybe it was a bit of both. **"You're supposed to smell like me all the time, you got that? Who are you supposed to smell like all the time? Tell me, Toothless. Tell me!"**

**"YOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOU!"** Toothless squealed, giggling. Hookfang grinned.

**"Attaboy, Toothless. Attaboy. And just remember that Barf and Belch don't get to lick you like that. Only I do. We clear?"**

**"YEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHES!"** the infantile Night Fury laughed. Satisfied, Hookfang placed the giddy, dazed hatchling on the floor, where he started staggering around in a zigzag motion. He was just too dazed to walk straight. Stormfly scooped him up, and Toothless readily accepted snuggles from her, all tired out from Hookfang's style of 'playing'. She glared at Hookfang for being so reckless with a hatchling. Toothless would be staying with her now, and this would last for the rest of the day (at least).

**"You are such a reckless caregiver,"** she growled, as Toothless snuggled near her. Hookfang shrugged with his wings.

**"What you call reckless I call allowing Toothless to have a bit of fun,"** Hookfang grinned. **"He'll be fine in a few hours."**

**"How come we don't get to play with Toothless the way you do?"** Barf and Belch asked. Hookfang fixed them with a glare.

**"Because if I ever see you playing with Toothless like that, I will keep your skulls as trophies,"** Hookfang growled. **"Are we clear?"**

**"Yes, sir,"** they whimpered. Hookfang sighed and turned back to Toothless' sleeping body. **"Sleep well, hatchling."**

* * *

"Hiccup, you like playing with us, don't you?" Astrid smiled, after blowing raspberries all over Hiccup's stomach and listening to all the giggles that spilled out of his mouth like water over a waterfall. He nodded, smiling happily.

"Yeah, you'we nithe to me!" Hiccup squealed.

"Why do you like us, little one?" Astrid asked. A confused look crossed Hiccup's face. "Don't worry, you don't have to say so if you don't want to."

"You know, you can start with Astrid. Why do you like Astrid?" Snotlout asked, expecting Hiccup to not have any real response. He was so wrong.

"Athdwid pwayth with me!" Hiccup blurted out. "She pickth me up and cuddweth me and she'th weally, weally thmart! I wove her!" Hiccup smiled up at Astrid, and everyone's hearts felt like they would explode. Hiccup was just adorable.

"And Fishlegs?" Snotlout asked.

"Fishwegth tellth me about dwagonth and how they do thingth! He doethn't uthe nameth wike thweetie and I wike that," Hiccup admitted. Fishlegs had a big smile on his face after hearing that.

"Thank you," Fishlegs smiled.

"What about the twins?" Snotlout asked.

"They'we tho funny! They tell me jokes and pway with me and they tell thdowieth!" Hiccup smiled. This was the first bit of good news about them they'd heard in a while.

"How sweet of you," Ruffnut smiled, before looking at her twin and getting a shock. "Are you crying?"

"No," Tuffnut sniffled.

"And me?" Snotlout asked, expecting not to hear anything good. Besides, Hiccup had refused to say his name once. He probably hated him.

"Thomedimeth you'we mean and wude and woud, but a few thimeth you'we quiet and nithe. I'd wike to thee that mowe," Hiccup admitted. That was extremely astute for Hiccup, who was only a baby, mind you. Snotlout was stunned. He simply nodded.

"O-OK," Snotlout stammered, not expecting something so deep from Hiccup. It freaked him out a little. "Hey, little guy, want me to go and see how Gobber's doing?"

"Yeth, pweathe!" Hiccup agreed. He nodded and ran off.

"You know, maybe Hiccup was right. Snotlout does have a soft side," Astrid mused. "Interesting."

"I wonder if he's like this with Toothless as well," Tuffnut mused. That set off Hiccup, suddenly remembering his best friend and the fact that he wasn't there.

"Toothweth! Want Toothweth! Pweathe, Athdwid?" Hiccup pleaded, staring up at her with those big green eyes full of hope. She broke like a twig.

"Come on, Hiccup. Let's go see Toothless," Astrid agreed, and Hiccup squealed. Toothless was still asleep, tucked into Stormfly's wings, but he stirred when he heard footsteps. Human ones, too. He thought nothing of it and tried to go back to sleep.

"Stormfly, where's Toothless?" Astrid asked. She placed Hiccup on the floor, and the tiny baby tried crawling over to Hookfang. This big dragon seemed nice.

**"Um, hello and what are you doing here on your own?"** Hookfang asked, very worried.

"Dwagon!" Hiccup squealed. "Good dwagon! Pway!" Hiccup innocently tried to pet Hookfang, who allowed it just so Hiccup didn't cry like the last time they'd met. This was what woke Toothless up. That was Hiccup's voice. He opened one eye and saw his best friend with Hookfang and couldn't contain his excitement. A tiny black blur flew at them and knocked Hiccup over. He was about to cry, but they he saw his buddy. "Buddy! My buddy!"

**"Hiccup!"** Toothless squealed.

"Buddy!" Hiccup babbled. Hookfang watched as they played, smiling from above. He growled to get Astrid's attention. He got it.

"Hookfang, are you OK?" Astrid asked, before spotting the two babies. "Sweeties! Come with me now!" The boys went to look at her, then went right back to playing. Astrid sighed. "Boys! We've got to take you home now." This time they actually stopped, playing, only to hit her with double pouty baby face.

Damn their cute little faces.

"That's it," Astrid sighed, as she went over and picked them up. They both started to wail.

"Pway, pway!" Hiccup wailed.

**"Mowe pweathe, Athdwid!"** Toothless whimpered. But Astrid, to her credit, stood firm.

"No. You two have to go home now and play with your daddy," Astrid told them. They settled down, but still pouted the entire way there. "You're such pouty babies sometimes. I wanna see you smile." She placed them down and started to play with them, letting a hand scratch and tickle their tiny little tummies. The babies squealed and giggled. They really loved her.

"Tickwy! Hahahahahahahaha!" Hiccup giggled.

**"Athdwid!"** Toothless giggled. Astrid had a goal to meet, and she hit it. The two babies were all tired out very, very soon, and that was when they started to snuggle.

"Silly little babies," Astrid sighed. "Now do you want to go home and see your daddy, or do I need to give you more tickles?"

"I be good! No mowe tickweth!" Hiccup pleaded. He sounded a little like his teenage self, someone that could be coerced into doing something after a few pokes and prods in his sides. Astrid thought it was adorable and kept it secret so only she and Toothless could mess with him.

"OK, Hiccup. Let's go home now," Astrid smiled, carrying two tuckered-out little ones home. People wanted to stop, but they could tell the babies were tired. So they allowed them to go home in peace. Stoick received them with a smile.

"There you are! Thank you, Astrid," Stoick told her. "Come on, you two. Bed now." The boys smiled sleepily at the girl who brought them home. Before they knew it, they were bundled up in a blanket together and snuggled into the blanket. They soon settled into sleep.


	8. Kidnapped

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks. This fanfiction is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.

A/N: Just to clear things up during the story, **bold** speech is when the dragons are talking, _italics _are for when the humans are thinking, and _**bold italics**_ are for when the dragons are thinking.

* * *

Today was a day for early rising. Hiccup and Toothless squealed and giggled as they passed a jingling ball to each other. Stoick would have called it cute if it wasn't happening at (Thor forbid this happen to anyone else) sunrise. Nobody should have to wake up at sunrise for any reason, and the boys seemed to be happy playing by themselves.

"My tuwn now!" Hiccup squealed, giggling as Toothless gave him the ball. He giggled as Night Fury saliva coated the left side of his face and all of his hair. "Buddy, you good! Good buddy!"

**"I ith good buddy!"** Toothless squealed, doing a loop-the-loop in the air with pure joy. Hiccup squealed and clapped, giggling hysterically. Stoick looked at them and knew finding a babysitter wasn't going to be hard for two such cute babies. They would be snapped up in seconds. By Odin's eye, he knew at least twenty people who all wanted to baby sit them and they were only going to stay as babies for two weeks! (Speaking of two weeks, seven days had gone already. He was going to have to break it to these people somehow that they couldn't all babysit Hiccup and Toothless over the course of a week.) While playing, both of them had a shared feeling of hunger.

"I hungwy," Hiccup whimpered. "Daddy? Daddy? DADDY!"

**"I hungwy too!"** Toothless whimpered. The wails of two babies was Stoick's cue to start the day.

"Come on, you two," Stoick sighed. "Breakfast." Soon, the babies were cleaned up and eating a hearty dish of mushy green baby food (Hiccup) and sardines (Toothless) respectively. He thought today would be another day of Hiccup's friends taking the two babies off his hands while he got stuff done, but not so. For once, Snotlout and his mother answered the door. That was odd. Usually, it was Astrid.

"Hello, Snotlout," Stoick greeted, a little confused. "Where are your friends?"

"They're all busy doing Hiccup's duties, so they have no time to babysit today," Snotlout explained. "They told me to tell you. But I've finished, so it's fine for me."

"I see. And what does your mother have to do with this?" Stoick asked.

"Since my son is available, I'll happily help take care of the boys for today," Snotlout's mother explained. Stoick broke out into a grateful smile.

"Thank you. I'll get the boys for you," Stoick replied, going into the house to get the babies and a few extra diapers for them. They were a little unsure of Snotlout, though.

"Thnodwout?" Hiccup asked, snuggling Toothless with fear. Snotlout nodded. His mother thought it was adorable that Hiccup knew her son's name.

"Oh, Hiccup, you know Snotlout? And who am I?" Snotlout's mother asked.

"Thnodwoud'th big thithdew?" Hiccup asked. His mother blushed and giggled like a teenage girl.

"No, silly. I am Snotlout's mama, and that makes me your auntie," she explained. "You can call me Auntie Sigrid."

"OK, Auntie Thigwid," Hiccup lisped, reaching for her. She picked him up while Toothless was in Snotlout's arms, and took them over to the Jorgenson household. It should have been fine, if it wasn't for Alvin the Treacherous spying on the village from afar.

"Are me eyes playing tricks on me, or is that a baby Night Fury I see in the idiot's arms?" Alvin asked. "Savage, take a look through this." He handed Savage the spyglass and watched as he looked through it. He saw the same thing as his leader.

"Yes, and they're also carrying a human baby," Savage reported. That was all Alvin needed to launch his attack.

"Boys! Raise the anchor and set sail for Berk! We have a baby Night Fury to capture!" he yelled. The Outcasts cheered and started rowing towards Berk.

* * *

Over at the Jorgenson household, Toothless was playing with Hookfang outside, while Snotlout awkwardly tried to play with Hiccup. Hiccup just wouldn't work with him in any way. "Hiccup, wanna make a big tower of blocks?" Snotlout asked. Hiccup gave him a serious case of cold shoulder. "Hiccup, wanna cuddle this little lamb?" the teenager suggested. Hiccup said nothing. "Wanna play with this axe?" he asked, pushing the axe towards the brunette baby. That was when the floodgates opened. Auntie Sigrid rushed over to scold her son and calm her nephew.

"Snotlout, what did you do?" she snapped.

"I just wanted him to have my old axe!" Snotlout insisted.

"Hiccup never liked playing with axes as a baby! And I should know; I babysat him when he was an actual baby and he hated them!" Sigrid scolded. Snotlout shrank while she picked Hiccup up and muttered calming baby babble in his ear. "What do you want to play with, precious?"

"Buddy! My buddy!" Hiccup babbled. Sigrid was confused. Snotlout had to explain to his mother what his cousin meant.

"He means Toothless. Hiccup calls Toothless his buddy," Snotlout explained. Snotlout's mother thought it was just precious.

"Oh, such a cutie!" she cooed, taking Hiccup over to his little playmate. Toothless was outside with Hookfang, who was happily throwing Toothless in the air and catching the hatchling in his mouth.

**"Highew, Hookfang! Highew!"** Toothless insisted. Hookfang was about to toss him higher, but then Toothless saw Hiccup and dove off to get to his best friend. **"Hiccup!"**

"Buddy!" Hiccup squealed. The two hugged each other, and Hiccup got a face full of dragon saliva from Toothless. "Hahahahaha!"

"Oh, they are precious. I'll watch over them so they don't get hurt," Sigrid insisted. "Snotlout, go clean the stables like I asked you to."

Snotlout's jaw dropped. "What?! You said earlier that I-"

"Now," his mother insisted, and Snotlout left. Sigrid and Hookfang's hearts melted like butter as Hiccup and Toothless playfully wrestled together. This precious moment would soon be ruined. Outcasts had tracked Toothless down to their house, and they were about to get a rude awakening.

"Get that baby!" Alvin yelled, as Outcast soldiers rushed the house and forced Sigrid against the wall, the blade of a sword at her throat and her hands tied in front of her. She cried uncontrollably, believing that she would be killed at the hands of Outcast soldiers. Next to her, Snotlout was also tied up and held next to the wall with an axe blade millimetres away from his jugular vein, dragged in from the stables so he couldn't get help for his mother. It was down to Hookfang now, the last line of defence.

**"You monsters!"** Hookfang roared, scooping the infants up and trying to find somewhere secure to hold them in while they escaped. He thought they wouldn't know how to deal with him, but they did their research on Monstrous Nightmares. Ten of them tied him up with strong thick sailors' rope to prevent him from moving anywhere, dousing him with water so he couldn't set it on fire. To properly put him out of commission until further notice, Hookfang was knocked out by a hard blow to his knockout spot. A screaming Hiccup and Toothless were picked up and taken away with them, listening to them as they celebrating their victory.

* * *

"So, which one of you brought me that baby?" Alvin asked.

"I did," two Outcast soldiers remarked at the same time. Now this was confusing. How did they both have the baby?

"Hand 'im over," Alvin ordered. Hiccup and Toothless were shoved in front of the double-crossing leader. "Why is there a human baby in front of me?"

"You said to get that baby," the idiotic soldier answered.

"I meant that baby, you imbecile! The Night Fury one!" Alvin yelled over the babyish wails. "What am I goin' ta do with 'im? Be his nanny?"

"You could feed him to the other dragons," someone suggested. That seemed popular.

"Or we could hold him for ransom," Savage replied.

"I've got it! We'll hold 'im fer ransom!" Alvin shouted, as cheers erupted. "The Night Fury, we'll train 'im ta be loyal to us, and he can one day destroy Berk! This useless lump-" that elicited laughter from the other soldiers "should get us a decent allowance with the ransom. Now one of yous start trainin' 'im." Hiccup and Toothless were taken away, making Hiccup wail.

"Buddy!" he cried. The Outcasts began taunting him.

"Not any more! He's ours now!" Savage told him.

"No more buddy for you!" another more junior soldier laughed. Hiccup whimpered with fear at never having his buddy again. Then his bottom lip stuck out, his eyes were screwed shut . . . and then the loudest scream ever echoed throughout the whole of the Outcasts' cells. The infant's scream made dragons revolt and break out of their cages out of pure disorienting madness and humans beg for mercy from the horrible sound.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! MY BUDDY NOW! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The Outcasts, not trained in anything to do with babies, had no idea how to react.

"How do you make it stop?" one pleaded. "I'm going deaf from this!"

"Somebody let 'im stay with the Night Fury!" another begged. Alvin, the oh-so-tough leader of these band of Outcasts, couldn't stand the wailing from both Hiccup and Toothless. But he wasn't going to let Hiccup and Toothless win so easily. Toothless, who had been in his arms, became angry at the treatment of his friend. Someone was going to pay. NOW. That was when he saw Alvin's hand, so carelessly placed near his mouth, and bit down on it. Hard.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Alvin screamed. His mind was made up now. "Fine, you can stay with your buddy," he hurriedly agreed. Toothless was literally taken off his hands and handed over to the soldier holding the brunette baby. They giggled and purred, finally together again. The Outcast soldiers took them over to a shoddily set up dragon training arena/weapons storage facility. Hiccup and Toothless were intimidated by the bigger, older dragons that they came across, covered in scars and fresh wounds and brands. Toothless was set down in front of an array of targets, and a much bigger dragon was right next to him. She was a Monstrous Nightmare, with bright blue scales and a long, straight scar down her neck. She eyed the infantile duo with confusion.

**"Who in their right minds left you two in here?"** she asked.

"All right, Destroyer, we need you to set these on fire," a soldier ordered. The Monstrous Nightmare giggled at the ill-fitting new name. Right now, 'Destroyer' was cuddling Hiccup. The soldier rolled his eyes and decided that maybe 'Destroyer' needed to learn from someone more experienced. "You, show him how it's done." The blue female decided to mess with Toothless and aimed for the soldier's butt. She missed.

"Forget it!" another soldier huffed. "Send that one back to the cell you got 'em from. Now, Destroyer, do as you were told." Toothless pointed at the targets with his wing. "Yes, those! Aim at those with your fire!" As he talked, he turned around completely to point at the targets, meaning Toothless was perfectly able to aim a plasma blast at his rear. But he only did so if Hiccup agreed.

"Toothweth, pwathma bwathd," Hiccup whispered, and Toothless shot one at the soldier's butt. This shot did hit, and as the other soldier laughed at his comrade, the currently flaming soldier screamed and sat down in something that he thought would help smother the flames.

Sawdust.

And here's where this gets even dumber. These oh-so-smart Outcasts had decided to put very flammable sawdust next to extremely flammable (and explosive) barrels of Monstrous Nightmare gel. And that Monstrous Nightmare gel was next to all the weapons they had made from other dragons, like spears tipped with Deadly Nadder spikes, for instance.

**"That's it; you two are coming with me!"** the blue Monstrous Nightmare insisted, scooping both of the babies up and taking them away before they were killed. This was going to be an insane story. **"Hey, sweeties, who are you?"**

**"I'm Toothweth, and thith ith Hiccup,"** Toothless introduced.

**"Odd names, but OK,"** she muttered. **"You hungry?"**

**"Uh huh,"** Toothless admitted. **"The big peopwe thaid I had to aim at the tawget, but you didn't aim at a tawget, so I didn't either. They wewe mean and thewe wath a big boom."**

**"Why was there a big boom?"**

**"I put fiwe on hith butt and he sat in the duthd whump and it wath on fiwe too and tho wath the big thdickth and the woody buckedth. And then thewe wath the big boom! It thounded funny. I wanna heaw it again!"**

**"Wait there. Big sticks? Woody buckets? You clever little precious!"** she cooed, as she joined up all the dots. **"Clever, clever, clever! You're hungry, right? Here! Lots of fish for a very clever little precious!"** Toothless didn't know what she was talking about, but he liked the fish and liked being called clever and tucked in. As the babies played and ate, the Outcasts came to a conclusion, and an embarrassing one at that: they needed to send these infants back before they unintentionally caused any more destruction.

* * *

Meanwhile, on Berk, Stoick was organizing warriors to raid Outcast bases to get Hiccup and Toothless back. Men would be riding in on the backs of dragons and on boats all for one of their own. But there would be no need. Alvin himself took these little bundles of chaos and gave them right back to Stoick. The only reason for him not to be held at blade-point was because he was giving the babies back. "Here. Take 'em. They're yours," Alvin babbled.

"What the Thor happened to you?" Stoick asked, not trusting the man as far as he could throw him, which wasn't far.

"Ya don't understand, Stoick! They're going to get me killed one of these days!" Alvin begged. "They destroyed all of our weapons, too!" Everyone looked at Hiccup, innocently sucking his thumb, and Toothless, snuggling his best friend . . . and laughed hysterically.

"Destroy your weapons? Them?" Stoick asked, jerking a thumb at the babies. "They can barely destroy a tower of blocks."

"They spent all day screaming when they were apart! It made the dragons go crazy!" Alvin tried to explain.

"They're babies, you moron!" a woman laughed. "They cry all the time!"

"And the Night Fury bit me!" Alvin complained.

**"He did? Good boy!"** a Gronckle mocked.

"They're horrible little brats that ran me ragged!" Alvin screamed. Hiccup and Toothless looked at each other, looked at Alvin, and wailed loudly. People glared at Alvin for making them cry and Stormfly and Astrid took the babies off Stoick's hands immediately. (Not that he was complaining.)

"This is too ridiculous for me to believe," Stoick sighed. "Now come with me. I'm taking you to a place with absolutely no babies."

"Great! Where?" Alvin asked, eagerly.

"Jail," Stoick replied, and that was how Alvin was dragged through the streets of Berk as people threw rotten vegetables at him and mocked him. But the man didn't even complain once. No more babies, for him, was Valhalla on Midgard.

* * *

Stormfly and Astrid minded Toothless and Hiccup quite happily. Astrid thought the concept of two babies destroying weapons was ridiculous. "As if you little sweetie pies would ever be bad boys like that," Astrid cooed, as she gave them both tummy scratches that made them giggle from how ticklish it was. "You'd never do that, would you? Would you, my good little boys?"

"No," Hiccup replied, smiling innocently.

**"No,"** Toothless replied, also smiling innocently.

Oh, the secrets a baby's smile can hide.


	9. Dragon training, impressions and Mildew

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks. This fanfiction is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.

A/N: Just to clear things up during the story, **bold** speech is when the dragons are talking, _italics _are for when the humans are thinking, and _**bold italics**_ are for when the dragons are thinking.

* * *

Hiccup and Toothless woke up giggling the next morning. Obviously, they had been affected less than Stoick had originally thought by their kidnapping ordeal. It was a good thing that they wouldn't remember anything once the berries wore off. This had to easily be the best thing Snotlout had ever put Hiccup through.

"Daddy, Daddy!" Hiccup greeted.

"Yes?" Stoick sighed, still a little tired. After all, it was the very first thing in the morning. "Hungry? Want a bath? New diapers?"

"Hungwy!" Hiccup whined.

"OK," Stoick smiled, picking them both up and getting a whiff of them. "All right, maybe a bath and new diapers too. With bubbles."

"Bubbweth! Food! Buddy!" Hiccup squealed.

**"Funny bubbweth!"** Toothless squealed, giggling. **"Yay!"** Stoick smiled as he prepared baby food for Hiccup and a small bowl of sardines for Toothless, with a few bigger fish mixed in for good measure. Toothless didn't need any adjustments made for him concerning food. He was willing to just eat the fish as it was, without it being regurgitated by another, older dragon. That would be a big relief for Hiccup, who would have worried himself to death if he was a teenager watching how his father cared for his infantilized best friend. But now Hiccup was a baby, he didn't worry about anything, except whether or not Toothless would be with him, or if he could play with Astrid, or if they would be seeing other big dragons. Trivial stuff that was adorable to watch him worry about, however cruel that sounded. Once they had finished, they were given a bath with lots of bubbles, just the way they liked it. It was so cute. Hiccup got soapy bubbles in his hair, and Toothless (somehow) had a beard made of soap bubbles. Hiccup thought all this was amazing.

"Daddy!" Hiccup squealed. "Tank woo fow the bubbweth!"

"You're welcome," Stoick smiled. "You two are going to be really good for Astrid today, you got that? Maybe, if you're lucky, she'll take you to another dragon training lesson."

"Dwagonth!" Hiccup squealed, smiling happily. "Wanna thee the big dwagonth! And Athdwid! Want Athdwid and the big dwagonth and my buddy!"

"Anything else?" Stoick asked.

"And my daddy too," Hiccup added. Stoick smiled at his baby son. He just knew that telling Hiccup about this when he was older (again) would make him either smile or groan with embarrassment. Toothless probably wouldn't care. The chief let the boys wrestle and play after they'd been dried, changed and fed, Toothless being the dominant one in the wrestling match and pinning Hiccup down to give him lots of snuggles, exactly the way Hookfang did to him. And Hookfang did it to him to be nice, so doing it to Hiccup must be nice too. He was about to progress to licks like what Hookfang did to him too, but then Stoick stopped him. He'd just cleaned Hiccup; he wasn't about to do it again. Then the knock on the door came.

"Chief, are you there? I've come to take Hiccup and Toothless off your hands," Astrid smiled. She could hear the squealing of glee from inside the house, and then she saw an adorable sight. Hiccup was crawling over to where he had heard Astrid's voice, smiling happily up at her.

"Athdwid!" Hiccup squealed, sitting up and giggling. He even waved at her with his tiny arms, which were both chubby with baby fat.

"Hello, Hiccup! Where's your buddy?" Astrid asked. Hiccup smiled, and then he opened his mouth and called for his best friend to come over.

"Toothweth! Athdwid'th hewe!" Hiccup called. Toothless came rushing over to her, and then he smiled at her with this big, goofy, toothless smile on his face, just like when he was all grown up.

**"Hewwo, Athdwid!"** Toothless greeted.

"Hey, there, you two!" Astrid greeted. "You been good for your daddy?" Both of them nodded, smiling. "Come on," Astrid sighed, picking them up and taking them to the dragon training lesson, taught by Fishlegs. He always thought that Fishlegs was so smart, and he enjoyed playing with their dragons.

"Hewwo, Fithwegth!" Hiccup greeted, leaning over to him. "We doing dwagon twaining today?"

"Yes, Hiccup. We just need to wait for Snotlout now," Fishlegs told him. Snotlout came rushing on a flaming Hookfang not long after Fishlegs said that, and he ran around screaming. His butt was on fire, courtesy of Hookfang.

"This dragon is completely untrained!" Snotlout screamed. "He doesn't listen to anything!"

"And whose fault is that?" Ruffnut asked. "We taught our dragon not to set anything on fire."

"At least, not unprompted," Tuffnut clarified. Hiccup was curious. Did Hookfang really never listen to anything. He'd have to find out for himself.

"Hookfang! Hookfang!" Hiccup giggled. Hookfang looked at him and padded over, making Hiccup smile and coo. He didn't even seem to register that Hookfang was on fire, but he did. "Hookfang, no fire. No," Hiccup ordered. To everyone's shock, Hookfang stopped immediately. He was so obedient, and to a baby. "You being bad. No. Thdop." Hookfang stared at the floor in shame, feeling horrible. How was Hiccup more authoritative than Snotlout, when he (Hiccup) was only a baby? "Thit," Hiccup instructed, and Hookfang sat. Dragons were also shocked by what had just happened.

**"How is Hookfang taking orders from Hiccup?"** Stormfly asked.

**"Now this is insane,"** Barf and Belch chorused quietly.

**"Somebody bite me,"** Barf requested. Belch obliged. **"Ow!"**

"Good dwagon," Hiccup cooed, reaching for Hookfang's snout. Hookfang reached for Hiccup's hand and let the brunette infant touch him with soft, tiny fingers. "You good dwagon now." Hookfang couldn't help but feel so much better now. He was so nice, much better than Snotlout was to him. He was even called a good dragon by Hiccup. Snotlout never said that. Snotlout called Hookfang names, like pig-headed dragon, stupid, and reckless. This could be partly attributed to how he was standing there with his jaw basically on the floor from how his dragon obeyed a baby more readily than when he obeyed him. Honestly, a baby! Could this be any more embarrassing for him?

**"What happened with you?"** Stormfly asked. **"Why are you prioritising a baby over your rider? Hiccup is far too young to be any dragon's rider."** Hookfang nudged her and gestured towards Toothless, who was playing with Hiccup and allowing the human baby to give him the scratches he liked. **"Toothless being the only logical exception to what I just said."**

**"You're probably going to end up in a lot of trouble with Snotlout,"** Meatlug wisely forecast.

**"I don't care; it was totally worth it,"** Hookfang asserted.

**"I still don't understand why you don't find it demeaning on some level to take orders from a baby,"** Barf drawled.

**"I have Snotlout as a rider; it's really not that different from Hiccup,"** Hookfang explained. Toothless gasped with shock.

**"Your human ith Thnodwoud?"** Toothless gasped. **"But-but he'th a meanie! I don't wanna have anothew meanie!"** Hookfang was crushed. Toothless thought he'd turn out just like his rider.

**"No, no, that's not what I have to do,"** Hookfang explained, trying to stop his heart from breaking. **"My job is to find out when Snotlout's being a meanie and then I set his butt on fire to teach him to not be a meanie."**

**"Ohhhh. You not mean. You good. I'm thowwy,"** Toothless apologized. He began to snuggle close to Hookfang's wing.

**"That is the cutest thing I've ever seen,"** Stormfly gushed.

**"I wonder if we could have both Hiccup and Toothless to play with,"** Meatlug theorized. **"After all, they are really cute."** Toothless was snuggled next to Hookfang and was almost asleep, and Hiccup was in Astrid's arms, babbling and cooing while the other teenagers fussed over him. Meatlug was right. They were cute.

"Hiccup, tell us more about Hookfang," Snotlout insisted, secretly angry that a baby was more commanding than he was.

"Hookfang'th a Monthdwouth Nighdmawe, and he can make himthelf be on fiwe when he'th mad," Hiccup explained. "The fiwe wowkth becauthe Hookfang hath gel all ovew him and it goeth on fiwe whenevew he wantth id do. Hookfang wiketh eatin' fish. If woo wanna have a Monthdwouth Nighdmawe, you muthd have wots of wethpecd. You put a hand on hith thnoud and you keep id thewe." Snotlout was stunned.

"Such a cutie pie!" Astrid cooed. "Clever boy! Clever, clever little Hiccup!" Hiccup squeaked and blushed madly as Astrid snuggled close to his tiny, fragile body.

"Tank woo, Athdwid," Hiccup thanked.

"And polite, too," Fishlegs remarked. "Stoick raised him well."

"Of course he did; he's the chief," Ruffnut butted in. "And it's our job to reverse all of this. Quick, Tuffnut, tell him all the bad words you know!"

"NO!" everyone yelled, as Hiccup was clutched tightly in Astrid's arms. Just to be safe and to stop Hiccup from whimpering, she scooped up Toothless, too. She did her best to cover their ears so they didn't heard the filthy words that could easily be spewed from the twins' lips like lava from a Gronckle's mouth.

"Not in front of the babies!" Astrid hissed, furious. Hiccup still thought that the twins were nice. Typical childish naivety.

"Wuffnuth! Thuffnuth! Hewwo!" Hiccup smiled. The duo simply melted. They couldn't keep up the tough person act in front of an innocent baby.

"Hello, Hiccup," Tuffnut smiled, a dopey look on his face.

"Would you like to play with us?" Ruffnut asked, with a near-identical dopey look on her own face. Hiccup smiled and nodded happily, giggling and clapping his hands with glee.

"Do voitheth, pweathe!" Hiccup begged, an earnest look in his eyes. Toothless was very confused. What voices was his friend talking about? Tuffnut grinned, cleared his throat, and began with an impression of Snotlout.

"I'm Snotlout, and I'm going to be doing dumb stuff all day!" Tuffnut warbled, prancing around in a similar manner to Snotlout. Hiccup and Toothless laughed hysterically. Snotlout was absolutely livid.

"This is what you tell Hiccup about me?" Snotlout snapped, as the babies laughed hysterically.

"Yeah, and he loves it!" Ruffnut replied cheerily. "He just can't stop laughing! Look at him!" Hiccup was pointing and giggling at how silly Tuffnut looked while pretending to be Snotlout. Toothless was also laughing uncontrollably.

"And it's not like we're lying to him or anything," Tuffnut pointed out.

"Wuffnuth and Thuffnuth funny!" Hiccup giggled.

**"Again, again!"** Toothless cheered, happily. Toothless thought it was amazing. They were just like Snotlout was all the time! As far as they were concerned, it was a perfect rendition of Snotlout Jorgenson. They both squealed and clapped with glee, wanting more from the pranksters/performers.

"I never knew the twins were so good with children," Astrid remarked, smiling at them. Having a baby around really brought out the best in people. Of course, it could also bring the worst out in people, too, and one of these people was . . . (drumroll please) . . . Mildew.

"Blasted berries just made the Night Fury more of a nuisance," Mildew grumbled, when he passed them at the market. Astrid held Hiccup and Stormfly allowed Toothless to hold on to her head. "Don't pander to him! That's what he wants you to do!"

"He's only a baby!" Gobber told him. "What harm could he do?"

"That's what he wants you to think!" Mildew snapped. Toothless was oblivious to what Mildew was saying about him, and was busy playing peek-a-boo with Hiccup.

"He only wants one thing, and that's Hiccup," Gobber informed the cabbage farmer. "And if you don't like that, you can stick it where the sun doesn't shine." Then he took a tiny sword to the baby boys and waved it in front of them. "Hey, look, look! Uncle Gobber's got you a toy to play with!" Hiccup and Toothless looked at the tiny sword being dangled in front of them, then at each other . . . and screamed.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Hiccup wailed.

**"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"** Toothless wailed. Gobber quickly hid the tiny sword.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!" Gobber hurriedly apologized, hiding the sword. "Look, it's gone. No more mean, nasty sword, see?" Hiccup was fine now the bad thing had gone away. Toothless thought that Gobber had to pay. Nobody made Hiccup cry. "Ow!" Gobber yelled, when Toothless bit his finger.

"I told you not to pander to him, you know," Mildew snidely gloated. Toothless turned to him and thought he wanted to play.

**"Hewwo! I is Toothweth!"** Toothless introduced. **"Wanna pway?"**

"AAAAARGH! GET AWAY! SHOO!" Mildew screamed, running away from the confused and hurt Night Fury hatchling, who rushed back to Stormfly nearly in tears.

**"Thdowmfwy, I fink I did thomefing wong,"** Toothless lamented. **"He wan away fwom me!"**

**"You did nothing wrong,"** Stormfly told him. **"You just have to know that not everyone wants to play all the time like how you want to play with Hiccup, OK?"**

**"OK,"** Toothless replied, going back to playing with Hiccup as if nothing happened.

"Hewwo, buddy," Hiccup smiled, scratching Toothless' neck. "Thday with me, pweathe!" Hiccup's tiny fingers had helped Toothless ascend to dragon Valhalla. (Well, for now, anyway.) This was how they played for hours, seen by the entire village. Fishlegs sat there, drawing them.

"Why are you drawing them?" Astrid asked.

"Hiccup doesn't seem to remember what he was like as a kid, and nobody's ever seen a Night Fury hatchling before. Maybe this will help," Fishlegs clarified. "Also, it means technically, I have to watch them to be able to draw this, so I guess it counts as babysitting. Once they both turn back, I'll give them all the sketches I made."

"I'm sure they'll love it," Astrid encouraged. Fishlegs smiled and continued drawing. This went on until Stoick came to take them home.

"Come on, you two. Home now," Stoick told them.

"Aww!" Hiccup whined. "Wanna pway more!"

**"Yeah, wanna pway mowe!"** Toothless agreed.

"Hey, look, the chief has resistance," Gobber joked to a friend. Stoick looked at him and glared, before turning to Hiccup and Toothless.

"You wanna play with Toothless at home?" Stoick asked.

"Yeth pweathe!" Hiccup smiled. Stoick looked at him and grinned.

"Of course. Come on," Stoick said, picking them both up and taking them home. Once home, they were bathed again and put to bed.

"Bye-bye, Daddy," Hiccup sighed.

"Bye, son," Stoick told him, leaving the candle close to his son's bed. But not too close. He wanted to have a home by tomorrow, after all.


	10. Sick day

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks. This fanfiction is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.

A/N: Just to clear things up during the story, **bold** speech is when the dragons are talking, _italics _are for when the humans are thinking, and _**bold italics**_ are for when the dragons are thinking.

* * *

Unfortunately, Hiccup and Toothless couldn't have good days every day while the berries had a hold over them, and one day, they both woke up sick. And when I write the word sick, I mean REALLY sick. They threw up all the time, they coughed, they sneezed and Hiccup looked as green as his favourite tunic (as a teenager before the berries, not his favourite one he wore as a baby now). Stoick did the responsible thing as the only adult in the house, Hiccup's father and Toothless' stand-in caregiver (Hiccup couldn't do it, for obvious reasons): he took them to Gothi. She'd know what to do.

He was prescribed with a medicine made of crushed herbs to give them once every mealtime. It was flu season for Berk, apparently, and babies were always one of the first to become ill, along with older people and the naturally sickly. (People would later call these particular people immuno-compromised, but the Vikings called them the naturally sickly because they didn't know any better and medicine wasn't particularly advanced back then).

"All right, you two, just go to sleep," Stoick told them, as the babies continued to whine. "It'll be good for you."

"Daddy, tummy huwdin'!" Hiccup complained. Toothless let out a whimper that had to mean something along the lines of "Yeah, what he said."

"This will make it feel better. Gothi said so," Stoick told them, holding the medicine to his son's lips. Hiccup sucked it down, as did Toothless. They didn't have the energy to resist, to make a fuss about it. This was naturally something Stoick appreciated, although he felt guilty over it. He basically felt happy that his son was sick.

"Athdwid!" Hiccup whined. Toothless agreed.

**"Athdwid!"** Toothless pleaded. Two sets of big green eyes stared up at Stoick, but he shook his head.

"No, Hiccup, Astrid's probably sick, too," Stoick refused. Although he didn't know it, he wasn't wrong; Astrid had a cold, too. So did the rest of Hiccup's friends. "Lots of people are sick right now." Hiccup sighed and dropped the subject.

"OK, Daddy," Hiccup agreed. Toothless tried to snuggle Hiccup, but Stoick picked him up and wrapped him in a separate bear fur. Then he got out the spare cradle (Valka had insisted on the spare cradle in case they had twins) and put Toothless inside it. That cradle was only an inch away from Hiccup's cradle, so it wasn't like they were a world away.

"If you two get any worse from being next to each other, I'll never hear the end of it," Stoick muttered. Hiccup and Toothless whimpered and pleaded for each other.

"Buddy!" Hiccup moaned, reaching for Toothless with a snotty hand.

**"Hiccup!"** Toothless whimpered, standing up on his back legs. He didn't like this, not one bit.

"Buddy!"

**"Hiccup!"**

"BUDDY!"

**"HICCUP!"**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

**"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"**

Stoick groaned. "For Thor's sake, why can I never separate you two? Please, stop!"

"BUDDY!"

**"HICCUP!"**

"Fine!" Stoick said, relenting. Hiccup and Toothless started snuggling, faces covered in tears and snot that were soon wiped away. "Here you go now. Food. You hungry?" Hiccup and Toothless nodded, and all was quiet for a few minutes as they ate the medicine first, then had a bowl of vegetable mush and tiny fish respectively. "There we go, all done."

"BLEURGH!" Hiccup threw up on the chief's tunic.

**"BLEURGH!"** Toothless threw up on the chief's tunic.

"Thor forgive me," Stoick muttered.

This was how the rest of the day went: Stoick would try to get something done, and then Hiccup, Toothless or both would throw up or need a diaper change or have a face full of snot. Stoick sometimes wanted to scream, but the loud noise would make them cry and (if Stoick was expected to be brutally honest here) they were bad enough just being sick. The best parts of the day were when they were asleep, because then they couldn't sneeze, throw up, throw things or attempt to argue with him. (But for some reason, everyone thought it was cute when that happened, because Hiccup couldn't talk properly.)

What they could do (well, what Toothless could do) was snore. The snot in their noses forced them to breathe through their mouths, and that was how Stoick learned that while adult Night Furies were the pinnacle of silence while asleep, baby Night Furies wouldn't be caught dead (or asleep) observing the same type of sleepy silence.

"You will never know how much I want to tell you to shut up," Stoick muttered, staring at the infant Night Fury with contempt. How dare he enjoy peaceful sleep in front of him? That was like throwing a banquet in front of a starving man!

* * *

_Two days later_

Stoick woke up early to check on Hiccup and Toothless, only to find that they weren't sick any more. They smiled up at him and cooed, just the way a healthy, happy baby would. That medicine clearly worked.

"Hello, little ones," he greeted, before letting out an ear-splitting sneeze. Hiccup and Toothless jumped, before snuggling together and wailing. Gobber, who he had scheduled to come over for an appointment, burst in with no notice because . . . well, he was Gobber.

"Stoick! I thought I'd come by to check . . . that . . . you . . . weren't . . . going . . . insane." He trailed off. "Holy Thor."

"I know," Stoick groaned, just before he went out. "Gobber, you make sure all my duties are done, all right? I have to go see Gothi. I think I got whatever the babies had." Gobber nodded and got to work. Hiccup noticed his daddy leaving and asked Gobber about it.

"Gobbew! Daddy gone!" Hiccup blurted out.

Gobber told a white lie. "Daddy has to go see someone. This means we can have fun all day!" Hiccup squealed with glee.

"Yay! Gobbew and Toothweth!" Hiccup squealed. And with that, Hiccup and Toothless forgot entirely that Stoick, their daddy, was gone at all.

Thank the gods for babies having a lack of object permanence.

* * *

A/N: I just wanted to add this on to tell people, with what little power that I have on this website, that things will eventually be OK. Right now, COVID-19 cases are increasing around the world and people are being ordered to self-isolate. Schools are being shut down, including the one I currently attend. I don't want anyone to panic, and, like we say in Britain, keep calm and carry on writing and reading fanfiction. This is me, FT543, signing out for now.


	11. The final day

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks. This fanfiction is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.

A/N: Just to clear things up during the story, **bold** speech is when the dragons are talking, _italics _are for when the humans are thinking, and _**bold italics**_ are for when the dragons are thinking.

* * *

When Stoick woke up and checked on Hiccup and Toothless, it was with a sudden stab of sadness in his heart. Today was the fourteenth day of them being babies, and they were due to turn back tomorrow. It had been hard, it had been tiring . . . but looking at them, peacefully asleep and blissfully ignorant, it was worth it. Plus, there were loads of stories for him to tell them once they were back to being stubborn, reckless teenagers that didn't listen to authority figures. However, that was only if the rest of the village didn't beat him to it. Gobber was just itching to tell Hiccup and Toothless what sort of adorable stuff he used to do with Toothless, not to mention his friends.

Wait! Hiccup's friends! Snotlout was the person that gave Hiccup and Toothless the berries in the first place! He'd endangered them both . . . but, since he'd already been punished and the outcome was adorable, there was nothing to really be worried about. Besides, he'd ordered that the berries be destroyed and the bushes they grow on burned to embers. Nobody could go through what Hiccup and Toothless went through again.

It was his day off, so he planned to do some things with his son and his son's dragon. Take them to the lake to play. Teach him how to hold a sword like a warrior . . . and also how to say the word sword. Explain to him what it meant to be chief over at the Great Hall after a healthy breakfast of chopped-up vegetables and tiny sardines respectively. (Hiccup thought being chief meant talking all day long, and Stoick had to correct this belief immediately.) "Hiccup, why do you think being chief means talking all the time?" Stoick asked. He'd heard that Hiccup was prone to giving some rather . . . entertaining responses to questions, mainly from the other teenagers.

"I thaw woo. You that down and wewe dawkin' with da othew peopwe fow a weally long thime." Hiccup smiled at his thorough analysis of being the village chief. Gobber, meanwhile, was listening to all of this like a fly on a wall and was quietly snickering.

"Do you think that this is everything about being chief? Just talking?" Stoick asked, after shooting Gobber the stink eye.

"Altho food. A lot of food," Hiccup added, after a second's worth of thought.

"Why do you think being chief means a lot of food?" Stoick asked. Hiccup, to everyone's amusement, poked his father's protruding stomach with his tiny, chubby baby hands.

"Be-becauthe you wike food, Daddy! You eat big foodth evewy day!" Hiccup replied. As grown men and women lost their minds, Stoick tried to remain calm. "Lodth of peopwe hewe wike food! Thee?" People thought it was funny, and told each other fat jokes for the rest of the day.

"Yes, Hiccup, I see," Stoick replied, with all the patience of both a chief and a parent . . . because he was both. "Anything else?"

"No," Hiccup replied, innocently. People collapsed laughing, and Stoick knew that maybe Hiccup had learned enough about a chief's duties for today.

"Hey, Hiccup, you wanna play near the lake with Toothless?" Stoick asked. Hiccup and Toothless squealed and giggled.

"Yay! Wake!" Hiccup squealed.

**"I go thee wake thing now!"** Toothless babbled. He didn't quite understand what a lake was, but it sounded fun. He hadn't gone outside in a while, thanks to the bout of sickness (Vikings called it 'having a cold') he and Hiccup had suddenly suffered. A lake sounded nice and the word itself was so much fun to say.

"Come on," Stoick replied, taking the boys to Lars Lake. They squealed and hugged each other all the time, pointing at the lake. To them, this was a groundbreaking new discovery that had to be celebrated.

"Thith a wake, Daddy?" Hiccup asked.

"Yes, Hiccup, that is a lake. You like it?" Stoick asked.

"Uh-huh," Hiccup replied. "Cwothew!" It took Stoick a few seconds to comprehend, but then he knew that Hiccup wanted to get closer to the lake. Toothless waddled over to the lake and touched it. It felt cold and wet. He ran away to Hiccup.

**"Hiccup! Wet wake!"** Toothless wailed. **"Cowd wake!"**

"Buddy, you be OK," Hiccup shushed. Stoick grinned. They would both be reminded of this tomorrow in excruciating, utterly humiliating detail tomorrow, once the berries wore off. Besides, if they protested, then he could always share a few stories from when Hiccup was an actual baby to shut him up. Those were much worse than what had happened over the course of two weeks of baby Hiccup and baby Toothless. Stoick thought that it would be hilarious to slowly lower Hiccup into the lake, feet first. (Keeping a strong hold over him the entire time. He wanted some fun with his child, but he wouldn't be an irresponsible parent over it.)

"What do you think?" Stoick asked. Hiccup squealed with shock the moment his toes touched the water. That water was cold!

"Cowd," Hiccup admitted. Stoick rolled his eyes. "But fun!" He splashed his father round the face with his two working feet. Stoick grinned, despite feeling the cold water dripping down his face and soaking his beard. His son may be on the skinny side, but at least he didn't shy away because of something as trivial as cold water. That was his boy, after all. He was raised better, raised tougher. That was what Stoick, as chief, prided himself on, raising a kid who was just as tough as him. He didn't look it, but he was. He certainly was, no matter what Spitelout said. Toothless gained confidence and went in with Hiccup.

**"Hiccup, if you pway, I pway!"** Toothless decided, splashing Hiccup, who splashed him back. From there, Lars Lake was treated like their bathtub, because they started to see who could splash each other the most. As the boys, played, Stoick just sighed as the only person they succeeded in drenching . . . was him. Hooray for babies, sort of. He would just have to wait for them to get tired and cold, which should be happening any second . . . now.

"Daddy, I no wanna pway no mowe," Hiccup whimpered. "Go home now?"

"Yeah; why not?" Stoick asked himself, as he dried them off and then carried the boys home. Gobber couldn't resist poking fun at the situation.

"Stoick, you've got it wrong. It's Hiccup and Toothless that are supposed to be wet, not you!" Gobber joked.

"Tell them that, not me," Stoick sighed, as both of the babies reached for Gobber. As Gobber held them, Stoick wrung his beard of water.

"Gobbew, pway!" Hiccup pleaded.

"I can't. I'm working. See?" He pounded on a white-hot piece of metal as 'proof' that he was working. Hiccup watched the hammer go up and down, giggling. Toothless aimed a plasma blast into the fire. He thought the tiny explosion was funny. Gobber was immensely proud. "So clever," he sniffled. "I'll miss them."

"They're not moving away, you know," Stoick explained.

"I know. It's just that this is the final day. Bucket, Mulch and I organized a countdown." He wanted so badly to burst into tears, but he couldn't or it would set off the babies. "But it was fun while it lasted."

Stoick smiled. "Aye, that it was."

"And I suppose there could have been worse scenarios. I mean what if Snotlout or the twins had eaten it instead of them?"

"Don't propose that as even a hypothetical question, Gobber. Please."

"Sorry."

"Daddy! Athdwid! Pway with Athdwid!" Hiccup squealed, pointing at Astrid as she walked past them. Toothless agreed with Hiccup immediately.

**"Athdwid and Thdowmfwy!"** Toothless squealed. Astrid walked over to them and waved.

"Hello, you two! Wanna play?" Astrid asked. They nodded and squealed, drool shining on their faces. Astrid wiped them away and, after a nod of permission from Stoick, took them to the other teenagers and their dragons. Stormfly took Toothless to the other dragons (nobody minded because everyone agreed that Toothless should be around other dragons as much as possible with the lowest amount of human interference), who were ready with some paint to mark Toothless' height. They needed some sort of proof that Toothless had been turned into a hatchling.

**"Toothless, little guy, we wanna see something,"** Hookfang explained. **"We wanna see how big you are with this paint. You hold still and we'll put some special marks on the wall that show how big you are."**

**"Uhh . . . OK!"** Toothless agreed, holding still as Hookfang dipped his claw into the paint pot and made three black marks on the wall. One in front of his head, one behind his tail and one above his head, to count as his head-to-tail length and his height from the ground.

**"Aww, you're going to love seeing this tomorrow!"** Stormfly squealed.

**"What'th tomowwow?"** Toothless asked, a curious look on his face. Everyone glared at Stormfly for spilling the beans.

**"Thor dammit,"** Hookfang muttered.

**"Tomorrow is the special day when good little Night Furies like you become good big Night Furies,"** Stormfly explained. Toothless squealed with excitement.

**"I'm gonna be tho big!"** the hatchling squealed.

**"I know!"** Stormfly agreed, smiling. _**I totally know.**_

A thought crossed Toothless' mind. **"Wait. How big am I gonna be?"**

**"Nobody knows,"** Hookfang lied. **"We'll just have to wait and see."**

**"Yeah!"** Toothless squealed. He started running around in circles and bumped into the pot of paint, getting some on his paw. It was black paint, so nobody noticed and Toothless flew over to Hiccup with the good news. **"Hiccup! We ith gonna be big thoon!"**

"Hewwo, buddy!" Hiccup greeted. Toothless put both paws on his rider's chest, staining his green baby tunic with a black Night Fury paw print. Astrid took Toothless to be washed immediately.

"Oh, poor guy, must have got into a pot of paint when we weren't looking," Astrid fussed. "Guess you're coming with me now."

Hiccup whimpered. "Buddy! Buddy, thday hewe!"

**"Hiccup!"** Black paint smeared Astrid's clothes as he tried to get back to his tiny best friend, squirming and whimpering.

"Of course Hiccup wants to come, too. Well, I guess that it's better than leaving you alone," Astrid muttered. She hoisted the two babies up onto either side of her, where they proceeded to pull her hair and snuggle her at the same time. She took a bucket of water and washed Toothless gently with a rag she found inside the bucket. There wasn't any soap she could find, so this would have to do. "You first, Toothless, then Hiccup. I don't want to take him home to his dad with a Night Fury paw print on his clothes."

"On the contrary, Astrid. I think Hiccup's clothing having Toothless' paw print on it will help prove to him that what happened to him actually happened." Astrid paled with fear. Hiccup reached upward and smiled.

"Daddy!" Hiccup squealed.

"Good day, sir," Astrid greeted. "I didn't know you were in earshot."

"No need to jump out of your skin, Astrid. The idea was thoughtful, but keeping the stain will prove to them both that this really happened. As they say, the truth is stranger than fantasy at times."

"Quite," Astrid agreed. Hiccup continued to reach upwards for his father, who picked him and Toothless up. The boys began to yawn.

"Daddy, I thweepy," Hiccup yawned. "I . . . wanna go . . . home."

"Of course," Stoick replied. "Thank you, Astrid." The boys were carried home, yawning and snuggling. Stoick was about to put them to bed the way he had been doing since they first turned back to being infants. But then he thought about it. If they turned back overnight, like they had two weeks ago, they'd break the bed and have no clothes to wear. He'd have to prepare them. Hiccup's prosthetic leg and his clothes were brought out of the attic, along with Stoick's beloved weapons. Everything baby-related was put back, except for the pawprint-stained baby tunic. Stoick would be keeping this to show Hiccup later. A large blanket was placed over Hiccup's sleeping, naked body, so he had something to cover himself up with when he awoke. His clothes were neatly folded and placed on the bed they slept on, his prosthetic leg on top of it. Toothless' tailfin and saddle were to the right of his clothes and prosthetics. Hiccup smiled and waved at his beloved daddy.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, little one?"

"I wove woo."

"I love you, too."


	12. Explanations and adoptions

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks. This fanfiction is set in the Dragons: Riders of Berk series.

A/N: Just to clear things up during the story, **bold** speech is when the dragons are talking, _italics _are for when the humans are thinking, and _**bold italics**_ are for when the dragons are thinking.

* * *

Hiccup woke up in rather . . . odd circumstances. First of all, he was naked, and he usually wore clothes to bed because of the cold weather Berk had so much of. Quickly, he found a set of clothes and a prosthetic to wear, which he hurriedly and embarrassedly donned in order to make himself decent. And one of the four legs of the bed seemed to be nearly broken. Why was Toothless on the bed? His dad had banned him from all beds a month ago after sitting on his bed (Stoick's bed, not Hiccup's or Toothless' bed) led to it breaking in half like a toothpick under his weight. Getting the unspoken message, Toothless slunk off the bed, and just in time, too. It probably would have broken if he hadn't.

"Hey, Dad," Hiccup greeted, stumbling down the stairs in a typical Hiccup manner. Stoick smiled and gestured for his son to sit down and eat, getting him his typical hunk of bread and some porridge. Gothi had warned that Hiccup and Toothless would still retain some infantile side-effects. He wanted to see if Hiccup could feed himself without making a mess. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome, little one," Stoick replied, realizing his words too late. Hiccup looked at him oddly.

"Why did you call me little one?"

"Well, you have always been on the short side," Stoick fibbed. Hiccup bought it.

"Whatever." He continued to eat, and porridge was not all over his face. Toothless, like always, was fine, but did have to get himself more fish to soothe his stomach. He had been given a truly insulting amount of fish by the chief. Only a saucer full of fish!

_**Next-door's cat would require more fish than one measly saucer,**_ he thought.

"Hiccup, your friends will probably be in the Great Hall, waiting for you," Stoick reminded, while quietly noting down what he'd seen. Hiccup could walk, talk and feed himself unaided. Whatever side-effects they were going to go through, it wasn't going to be any of that.

"Oh, thanks," Hiccup admitted. "Come on, bud." Toothless got up and went back to their bedroom, patiently waiting for Hiccup to put his tailfin and saddle on. This took about five minutes, and then they were off, headed for the Great Hall. Hiccup dismounted after landing, and boy and dragon walked into the Great Hall together.

They were expecting to be greeted by their friends and that was it.

They weren't expecting to be bombarded by the whole village.

"Hiccup! Toothless! Good to see you've recovered!"

"Oh, you've both gotten so big!"

"Haven't you grown?"

"Grown? I don't think I have," Hiccup muttered. "And Toothless looks about the same to me."

**"I should hope so!"** Toothless replied.

"He doesn't know what happened, does he?" Ruffnut whispered to Tuffnut.

"I should think not," Tuuffnut whispered back.

"What are you talking about?" Hiccup asked, becoming more and more confused.

**"You guys are seriously beginning to worry me,"** Toothless muttered, backing away. Astrid took it upon herself to explain.

"Hiccup, I need you to focus on me," Astrid commanded. "What is the last thing you remember?"

"Having a leg of lamb and some ale after giving a lecture," Hiccup replied. "It tasted funny, but I didn't want to throw it away because my dad makes a big deal out of wasting perfectly good food."

"What do you remember about yesterday?" Astrid interrogated.

"Why are you asking this?" Hiccup asked. Astrid glared at him. A look like that needed no other words. "OK. I . . . I . . ." There was a tense moment where Hiccup racked his brain for memories of yesterday, only to realize that there were none. "I don't remember anything! What the Hel is wrong with me? I should know this stuff! It was only yesterday!"

"Hiccup, calm down! We can explain!" Astrid told him. He looked to be on the verge of a freak-out, with eyes wide and darting around the room. "Remember when your food tasted funny? That . . . was because Snotlout messed with it. He gave you and Toothless special berries that . . . turned you into babies for two weeks."

"This is insane. What sort of berry does that? And why don't I remember anything?" Hiccup babbled.

"If you want to know more about the berry, Gobber and I found notes on it in one of my botany books," Fishlegs volunteered. "I'll let you study them. Not remembering anything is one of the side effects of the berry."

Hiccup was still worried. "And what about all the stuff I had to do? Dragon training lessons and answering questions and-"

"We did all of that," Ruffnut replied. "Many hands make light work, you know."

"Did you see me as a baby?" Hiccup asked, face reddening. They all nodded, smiling. "Oh, Thor, this is embarrassing! You actually saw me as a baby!" Hiccup and Toothless were utterly mortified. Hiccup buried his face in his hands. Toothless curled up into a ball, closed his eyes and hoped that the floor would swallow him up. But it never did.

"It's not as bad as you think it is!" Fishlegs reassured. "You didn't even do anything embarrassing, I promise!"

"Then what did we do?" Hiccup blurted out, angry at not receiving any straight answers.

"Well, now that you ask . . . " Tuffnut grinned.

* * *

While Hiccup received every last juicy detail of his infantile adventures, Toothless ventured over to his fellow dragons. He was planning to sneak over and surprise them, but after a fortnight of being a clumsy hatchling, his stealth skills were not what they used to be. He was spotted by Hookfang, who simply picked him up and carried him through the air to the arena, where the other dragons were waiting. **"Found him, guys!"** the red dragon announced, dropping him on the floor.

**"Ow!"** Toothless yelped. He'd fallen rather roughly onto his face.

**"Hookfang, what were you thinking?"** Stormfly scolded.

**"What? But he's big now! See?"** Hookfang gestured to the confused Night Fury.

**"That's no excuse for you to drop him on the floor!"** Stormfly scolded. **"Sweetie, are you OK?"**

**"Why are you calling me sweetie?"** Toothless asked. **"I don't want you treating me like some helpless little hatchling!"**

**"Oh, Toothless, let me check on you,"** Meatlug fussed. Toothless didn't try to escape, allowing her to check him for cuts, bruises and welts. Stormfly was naturally outraged at the double standard presented before her.

**"Hey! How come you don't try to push Meatlug away?"** Stormfly blurted out.

**"Stormfly, that's Meatlug. She does that to everybody,"** Toothless rationalized.

**"He has a point, you know,"** Barf and Belch chorused.

**"Not a word, you two,"** Stormfly growled.

**"Toothless, I need you to sit down,"** Hookfang told Toothless, looking uncharacteristically nervous. **"The thing is . . . Snotlout gave you some special berries, and for the last two weeks, you've actually-"**

**"Been a hatchling, I know. I heard our riders tell Hiccup,"** Toothless interrupted. **"I just wish I remembered something."**

**"Well, that's a relief,"** Hookfang sighed.

**"And it's everyone's jobs to tell you how adorable you were!"** Barf chimed in.

**"So, since we remember you as a hatchling and you don't, allow us to fill you in on all of the juicy details!"** Belch commanded.

**"What the Thor have I signed up for?"** Toothless moaned.

**"When you were a hatchling, it was impossible to separate you from Hiccup,"** Hookfang chuckled. **"If you were taken away from him, both of you cried and cried and then we had to put you back."**

**"Oh, yeah. Together, you were adorable. Apart, you made everyone go deaf from your crying,"** Stormfly reminisced. Toothless blushed under his ebony scales.

**"And when you were a hatchling, you thought that nothing could go over Hookfang's head . . . because he was too big,"** Barf remembered. **"And Hookfang told you that if you stayed with the girls for too long, you'd turn into a girl!"**

**"I must have been such a dumb hatchling,"** Toothless realized.

**"No, you weren't and don't ever say that again. Even the most naïve of hatchlings are smart enough to know that Snotlout's butt plus fire equals good,"** Hookfang casually answered.

**"Seriously? I did that?"** Toothless asked, so proud of himself for doing the thing he didn't even remember and couldn't be held responsible for.

**"Yes! And you were able to set the targets on fire when Hiccup told you to! A tiny dragon trainer with a tiny dragon! So cute!"** Stormfly gushed.

**"Well, whaddaya know. Even as babies, we still make quite the team,"** Toothless remarked.

**"I know! You were adorable!"** Toothless rolled his eyes as the other dragons babbled about his infantile self. It was shaping up to be a long day.

* * *

"No way! I did that?" Hiccup asked.

"Nobody else could believe it either. You just told Hookfang to stop and he stopped. He wouldn't listen to Snotlout, but he listened to a baby just fine," Astrid remarked. "And when I came over to babysit you, you could hear me and crawled over all smiling!"

"Aww!" the twins chorused.

"Literally on the first day, you and Toothless were playing with this jingly ball thing and passing it to each other and giggling!" Fishlegs reminisced. "Let's face it; you were precious." Hiccup smiled, but he seemed sad. "What's wrong?"

"It's fine. I just wish I knew how that would have looked," Hiccup sighed. "I look at Toothless and I can't see him as a baby."

"Fishlegs probably has some dumb solution to that," Snotlout yawned.

"It's not dumb! I just . . . thought Hiccup might like these," Fishlegs muttered, taking the crumpled drawings out of his bag to give to Hiccup. "We weren't sure if you'd believe us if we told you what happened, so I drew these of you and Toothless. I also wrote some notes on the infant Night Fury for you to read. Sorry about the drawings. They're nothing like yours." Hiccup slowly flipped through the drawings, his smile growing wider and wider.

"Fishlegs, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are a genius! Back in a sec!" Hiccup babbled.

"Where are you even going?" Snotlout asked.

"I know someone who would like to see these!" Hiccup yelled, as he ran. He rushed over to the arena, where he found Toothless with the other dragons.

**"Hey, there's Hiccup! What's he doing here?"** Hookfang asked. Toothless looked around.

**"Hiccup? HICCUP!"** Toothless smiled, rushing over to his human. Hiccup also ran to his precious buddy.

"Bud! Good to see you! I got something for you!" Hiccup told him. Toothless obediently sat down. "Look! It's us! Fishlegs made this as a present for us! This is how we looked as babies! Aren't we adorable?"

**"Wow, we must have been so cu-what is that thing they made me wear?"** Toothless asked, pointing at the diaper they placed on his helpless baby butt.

"I have no idea why you are wearing a diaper, but you were a baby, so you must have needed it," Hiccup rationalized. They flipped through the pictures, each one cuter than the last. Here was Hiccup being held by Gobber. Here they were, snuggling inside of a crib. Here they were passing a ball to each other. And here was one where they were with Astrid. The one they liked the most was one of then looking like they trying to read the Book of Dragons, despite the fact that they clearly couldn't read.

"We were adorable," Hiccup smiled.

**"Yeah, I know,"** Toothless smiled. **"This didn't go as badly as I thought it would."** Toothless' stomach rumbled.

"Buddy, you want more food?" Hiccup asked. Toothless nodded. "Come on."

They flew over to the Great Hall, where they were approached by some very doting dragons. This was where a problem arose, one that neither knew about.

Dragons, as both knew, had very strong senses of smell. This was hardly a surprise to them. But dragons could use that sense of smell to tell which dragons had recently mated, whether or not they were really a hatchling, if a female was about to lay her eggs, which hatchlings belonged to who. They could even tell which ones were in mourning. And it just turned out that after their brief spell as babies, Toothless was absolutely drenched in what dragons called a 'hatchling-smell', unique only to hatchlings. A hatchling smell that had rubbed off on Hiccup, making them believe that he was an adoptable dragon hatchling, too, despite the fact that he was neither a dragon nor an infant. And even though Hiccup and Toothless were older now, it didn't stop them from being identified and treated as hatchlings by the same purple Zippleback that Hookfang approached to assess if Toothless was cute or not. "Whoa! What are you doing?" Hiccup asked, as one of them licked him incessantly.

**"Can we keep them? They're cute and quite clearly abandoned,"** one head replied.

**"Of course!"** the other head replied.

"No! Get away! Bad dragon! Back! Sit!" Hiccup ordered, to no avail. His voice was being drowned by dragon saliva.

**"Don't hurt him, please! He's my rider!"** Toothless pleaded. The dragoness snuggled Toothless tightly into her wings, licking him.

**"I would never hurt such sweet little babies,"** she cooed. **"Now hold still so Mama can give you kisses."**

**"Since when were you my mama?!"** Toothless shrieked with shock. With that, an army of dragons mobilized in the name of getting Toothless and Hiccup away from her (yes!) so they could adopt the precious little hatchlings for themselves (no!).

**"The nerve of you! Traumatizing these poor little ones and making them call you their mama! This adorable duo is coming with me,"** one dragon sneered. **"Come on, sweeties, I'll take good care of you."**

**"Uh, nice try. You have enough hatchlings in your life. There's no way you'll be able to love them enough, I'm taking them,"** another dragon decided, stepping forward to scoop them up.

**"I've seen how you are with hatchlings when you think nobody is looking. They're under my protection now,"** yet another dragon huffed. A massive fight broke out, and the two slipped away, unnoticed.

"That was close, bud," Hiccup sighed, as he clutched the drawings and the dragon as tightly as he could. They got up and walked into the Great Hall . . . only to find themselves face to face with Gothi. "Oh, hello, Gothi." The old healer wrote a message on the floor for him to read.

I NEED TO CARRY OUT SOME TESTS ON YOU AND YOUR DRAGON. I TOLD YOUR FRIENDS THAT YOU WOULD BE LATE TO LUNCH. COME WITH ME.

Hiccup and Toothless accompanied Gothi to her hut, where she proceeded to perform some rather . . . odd tests. Well, odd for them anyway.

YOU NEED TO BE IN SEPARATE ROOMS FOR THE FIRST TEST.

"OK," Hiccup agreed, as he stood inside Gothi's medicine room and Toothless stood inside her storage room. This lasted for about a minute before they were let out. "What was that test for?"

OBJECT PERMANENCE. YOU BOTH PASSED.

The next test involved loud noises. She hit a hammer against a metal pot to see if they would cry. Again, nothing happened, other than Toothless becoming very defensive of a rather confused Hiccup. "Toothless, no! Do not hurt Gothi!" Hiccup ordered. Toothless reluctantly backed down, and after a few more tests, Gothi had no choice but to let them go. Any symptoms they were exhibiting weren't showing up, leading to the possible conclusion that they were the first asymptomatic survivors of the berry or she just couldn't test for them.

"Hey, Hiccup, it won't be long until we start making jokes about this, right?" Snotlout snickered. "And it'll be so funny!"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that one. You were much worse as a baby than Hiccup was," Spitelout reminded the brat. "Babysitting you meant we had to give the poor girl hazard pay on top of actual pay!"

"Don't talk about me like that in front of my friends!" Snotlout snapped.

"There's a reason Gobber only babysat you once," Spitelout remarked, casually checking his nails.

"Dad!" Snotlout moaned, humiliated.

"Wait, didn't Toothless set your butt on fire because you called Hiccup dumb?" Ruffnut asked.

"You did what?! With me, now!" Spitelout growled, dragging his son away. The rest of the gang watched him leave.

"How one person can get into trouble that fast is beyond me," Hiccup muttered.

"You're welcome," Ruffnut smiled. And with that, everyone else ate without incident. Once he was finished, Hiccup decided to talk to Astrid about something he'd found very odd.

"This dragon came up to me and Toothless and started licking me and being very affectionate. Then a bunch of other dragons tried to get us away from this dragon, and then they all started fighting," Hiccup recounted.

"Maybe they think you resemble a hatchling," Tuffnut replied.

"Or maybe they think Toothless is still a hatchling, and you smell like him now," Fishlegs theorized. "In your case, it should wear off in a day or two."

"And Toothless?" Hiccup asked. Just then, Toothless ran as fast as he could from the flock of dragons.

**"Come back, you precious little bundle of sweetness! I just want to introduce you to your new brothers and sisters!"** one Gronckle wailed.

**"HELP!"** Toothless screamed.

"That doesn't look good," Hiccup muttered. "Bud, come here! We'll go home now!" Toothless looked at him and ran in his direction. Both knew what to do. As Toothless ran in front of him, Hiccup jumped onto his back, activated the prosthetic tailfin with his wooden leg and they flew home. The flock followed them home. The desperate duo entered through the open window, and the infatuated flock perched on the roof. When they realized there wasn't enough room for them all, some waited outside the doors, front and back. They were surrounded. Hookfang watched from a distance, worried for his friend.

_**I have to help him somehow,**_ Hookfang thought. _**I just wish I knew how, though.**_

Back inside the house, Toothless and Hiccup were determined to stay up all night watching the dragons outside their house to see when they would leave them alone. But that was becoming hard. Not even a half-hour after it just started to get dark, Hiccup and Toothless were beginning to feel sleepy, sleepier than they should be feeling at this time of night. Usually, they stayed up much later than that. (Well, Hiccup stayed up much later than that. Toothless just wanted to sleep.)

"Buddy, are you as tired as I am?" Hiccup asked. "You look tired. We should rest our eyes a little."

**"Fine,"** Toothless yawned. Soft snores could be heard seconds later.

**"Aww, so cute,"** one dragon babbled. **"They're all cuddled up together!"**

Yes, you read that right. Hiccup and Toothless were snuggling like they used to as babies, limbs intertwined and blissful expressions on their faces. There had been one minor change: Hiccup wasn't sucking his thumb anymore. The side effect of the berries, for them, was an earlier bedtime, which was why Gothi couldn't test for it. Stoick would be utterly delighted.

* * *

The next day, the flock of doting dragons decided to settle Toothless' adoption the traditional way: letting him be adopted by the first one he approached. The idea behind it was that the hatchling (Toothless) would only approach someone he trusted, meaning that dragon was fit to adopt them. This system was deemed foolproof because, well, hatchlings don't lie. Dragon after dragon approached Toothless, but he was terrified, and dragon after dragon was sent away, heartbroken at the fact that they couldn't take home this cutie.

This was Hookfang's chance to save Toothless from a lifetime of humiliation. He'd figured that after enough time, Toothless would long for a familiar face, and he was a familiar face (he hoped). So the moment Toothless would see him, he would rush over to him, unintentionally allowing himself to be adopted by his friend. Satisfied with the plan, he decided to join the hordes of dragons trying to adopt Toothless. **"Don't mind me, guys,"** he muttered, navigating the crowd. He decided to go above the crowd to find that tiny black speck of terrified Night Fury, but he saw nothing. This earned him the scorn of the other dragons.

**"What was he thinking? As if someone as reckless and forgetful as he is would be allowed to adopt."**

**"Toothless needs a responsible carer in his life. The exit is over there."**

**"Make room for the _eligible_ parents, Hookfang."**

**"Hookfang?"** Toothless' ears perked up. His friend was here. **"Hookfang!"**

**"Toothless! I'm over here!"** Hookfang flew over to Toothless, to the annoyance of literally everyone else.

**"For the last time, make room for the _eligible_ parents!"** some dragon screamed.

**"Hookfang! You're here!"** Toothless rejoiced, rushing over to him. **"I need your help. They're trying to adopt me,"** he hissed.

**"Just play along,"** Hookfang whispered.

**"Toothless' decision is final! He shall be adopted by Hookfang!"** an especially old Monstrous Nightmare roared, to the chagrin of the disappointed potential parents. Toothless and Hookfang left them to squabble amongst themselves, since there was nothing they could do. A hatchling's decision concerning their adoptive parents was final, as per dragon law.

**"Now, what is it about you that makes them think you're a little hatchling?"** Hookfang wondered aloud. He picked Toothless up and started checking for wounds, but ended up inhaling a lungful of his hatchling smell. **"Oh, I see. You have a hatchling smell."**

**"You think?!"** Toothless hissed. **"I need to get rid of it!"**

**"I know something that might help,"** Hookfang suggested, grinning maniacally.

**"What?"** Toothless asked. Hookfang picked him up and started licking him all over. A tail and a set of claws joined in the fun, and that was when Toothless knew that he. Was. SCREWED.

**"This was what I was talking about, little guy,"** Hookfang taunted. **"You can only get rid of a hatchling smell by drowning it in another smell, and since I'm your adoptive father now, I have to scent-mark you with lots and lots of licks."**

**"GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HOOKFANG!"** Toothless squealed. **"PLEHEHEHEHEASE! LET GO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"**

**"Now why on Earth would I do that?"** Hookfang asked his new ward. Unbeknownst to them, the judgemental dragons were watching them.

**"Maybe we misjudged Hookfang's parenting abilities after all,"** one mused.

**"Yes, you quite clearly did,"** Stormfly snapped. **"Look how happy they are! Toothless is snuggling close to Hookfang and laughing!"**

**"Ah, yes. I see that,"** another dragon muttered, having the decency to look embarrassed. **"We should leave them be."**

**"Yes, we should,"** Meatlug growled. And that was how Toothless was left alone with nobody but Hookfang for ticklish company.

Poor guy.


	13. Bonus scenes

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon, and knowing my luck, I never will. All rights go to the author of the books, Cressida Cowell, and the company that made the much-loved films and series, Dreamworks.

A/N: Just to clear things up during the story, **bold** speech is when the dragons are talking, _italics_ are when the humans are thinking, and **_bold italics_** are for when the dragons are thinking.

2nd A/N: This is a few bonus scenes, because I didn't think I tied up all my loose ends in the final chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

**Revenge on a bully**

The day had started off on a relatively peaceful note. Toothless was being fawned over by other dragons, Hookfang was watching over him to make sure a vengeful, jealous dragon didn't try to kidnap him (and also because he was Toothless' guardian until he was deemed to be capable of taking care of himself), and it was a generally good day.

Until that one green Gronckle came along.

**"Nitwit dragons, fawning over some . . . dumb . . . Night . . . Fury."** His voice trailed off once he realized who the Night Fury was, and he snickered. **"Well, well! Fancy seeing you here!"**

**"I'm sorry, who are you?"** Toothless asked. Hookfang's scales were on fire. **"Hookfang, who is this?"**

**"You don't want to know, trust me,"** Hookfang replied, as he unsheathed his claws. Meanwhile, the green Gronckle was circling Toothless, sizing him up while smirking.

**"You have grown so, so much,"** he taunted. **"It feels like only yesterday when that nitwit Night Fury hatchling ran up to me and said that he found me! Stupid little hatchling thought I was another of his carers."** Toothless glared at him. **"Oh, look, he's angry! You gonna do something about this, since you're so mad? Or are you just gonna cry? Cry like you did when you were a hatchling?"**

**"Leave me alone, you prick,"** Toothless snapped. **"Go pick on someone who cares."**

**"Ooh, fighting words!"** the green Gronckle mocked. **"How about you follow it up with some action, huh? Bet you can't. You definitely can't. Not with that tail, and that tiny human, and that-"**

WHAM!

Toothless had had enough. In the middle of the Gronckle's words, he aimed a plasma blast into his open mouth. The bullying dragon simply stood still, like an ugly statue nobody had bothered to remove. Toothless went up to his aggressor and delivered a few parting words.

**"I bet you don't think much of who I was as a hatchling, but if it's any consolation to you, then I might as well tell you that I haven't been a hatchling in a while. You, however, have been a bully for undoubtedly years. Think about that."** Toothless turned away from the bully just as he collapsed and went back to Hookfang. **"Punish me if you want. He asked for that."**

**"Yes,"** Hookfang agreed. **"Yes, he did."**

* * *

**Guard duty**

"Do we have to be on guard duty? There's no way this is my job," Hiccup whined.

"As chief, you will have to deal with people who have lots of jobs, and I want you to have respect for all of them," Stoick explained. "The prisoners have just had lunch, so you and Toothless will just watch over them for a few hours so they don't escape. Most of them are Outcasts, and the doors have been reinforced recently, so this shouldn't be too hard."

"OK," Hiccup agreed, Toothless standing by his side. The overprotective Night Fury honestly believed that Hiccup would be killed if he left him alone, so he refused to leave him alone, since the person most likely to cause Hiccup harm, in Toothless' mind, was himself.

"Good. Bucket and Mulch will be here to let you off in a few hours. Try not to die." And with that, Stoick left.

"Well, that was . . . encouraging," Hiccup quipped. "Come on, bud. We'll start patrolling . . . or whatever guards are supposed to do." They patrolled the cells, checking on the prisoners while Toothless made sure he stuck close to Hiccup and gave as many of the mean looking ones the evil eye as he could. The Outcasts, all of which had met the infant Hiccup and Toothless already, realized that they were looking at yet another brown-haired boy with a loyal Night Fury, and now they were bigger, they could do even more damage. They cowered in their cells, begging the gods to be kind enough to make their torment stop, promising every deity they could think of, even if they weren't in the Norse pantheon, that if they ever got out of this jail, they would never sin again and they would dedicate the rest of their lives to serving the gods and helping the most vulnerable people in society. However, Hiccup and Toothless had no idea what was going on.

"What's going on? Everyone seems very scared for some reason. Maybe you could tell us something about it," Hiccup suggested. The prisoner he was talking to was a very distressed and dishevelled Alvin.

"Odin Allfather, save me from this horrific vision! I never wish to see another Night Fury with a brown haired boy again!" Alvin wailed.

"Um . . . what other Night Fury?" Hiccup asked.

"'E was like 'im, but smaller and younger! 'E decimated our entire base! Dragons escaped! Weapons burned to ashes in seconds! Soldiers with skin burns and broken minds!" Alvin wailed. "We tried to have the baby boy fed to dragons, but they screamed loud enough to send a man insane, even though they were barely ten feet away from each other!" Hiccup and Toothless simultaneously knew that the dragon and baby duo that they were so terrified of was them. "I-I see them now! I see them in you! You got big and came for me, didn't you? Get away from me! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Oooooooookay. We are leaving now, OK? You won't see us any more," Hiccup reassured, as he and Toothless backed away to patrol the other cells.

Unfortunately, it transpired that all of the Outcast soldiers were in a similar condition to their former leader, but it was clear that Alvin had it worst of all. Wherever Hiccup and Toothless went, they heard screams of terror, fevered prayers to the gods, (some of which they didn't recognize as being Norse gods) and one grown man curled up in a corner in the fetal position, sobbing like a little girl. Bucket and Mulch couldn't come and relieve them soon enough.

"Hiccup? Your shift is over now," Mulch called. Hiccup and Toothless couldn't get out of there fast enough.

"Thanksfortellingmegoodluckbye!" Hiccup babbled, as he and Toothless raced out of the room and flew home. Hiccup went to talk to his dad, and Toothless went to talk to his 'dad' AKA Hookfang.

"Dad, those Outcast prisoners worry me. They keep talking about their base being destroyed by a baby Night Fury and a human baby boy with brown hair, and that sounds like me and Toothless," Hiccup began, unloading his worries onto his father. "None of them can look at us without panicking and praying to the gods and even crying!"

"Hiccup, you and Toothless were taken by Outcasts when you were . . . little, and they gave you back using this ridiculous tale," Stoick explained. It was clear to see that he still didn't believe Alvin's version of events (not that he could be blamed for that). "He said you destroyed his base and his dragons escaped because you cried too loudly. Lying through his teeth once again. I had to raise you both times, and I can honestly say from experience that you found it hard to topple a tower of blocks, let alone an Outcast base. And even though Toothless had fire, it was uncontrolled and he couldn't have possibly set anything on fire the first time."

"Yeah, that makes se-did you just say that Toothless had fire?"

Stoick rolled his eyes. He seemed to be doing that a lot with Hiccup. "Yes, but I fail to see how that is-"

"This is so cool!" Hiccup squealed. "I've gotta go, Dad! Stuff to write this down in the Book of Dragons!" He ran off, presumably to see Fishlegs.

"Well, I guess the berries haven't completely worn off," the chief muttered. "His attention span is as short as ever."

* * *

Meanwhile, Toothless was asking Hookfang what he knew about the Outcast raid. **"Hookfang, Hiccup and I went on patrol in the prisons, and they all seemed scared of us and talked about a baby Night Fury that set them all on fire and stuff,"** Toothless confided. **"What do you know about it?"** Hookfang let out a sigh.

**"I'm so sorry,"** Hookfang sighed.

**"What?"**

**"I was there when it happened. I tried to protect you, but there were ten of them and one of me. They poured water over me so I couldn't set them on fire, tied me up so I couldn't move and went for the sweet spot on my neck. Next thing I know, everything went black,"** Hookfang recounted. **"I should have tried harder to protect you. You were helpless."**

**"You did all you could, and for that, I am thankful,"** Toothless reassured. **"Don't worry about it, Hookfang. You were outnumbered; you said it yourself. I'm here, and I. Am. Fine."**

Hookfang let out a sigh, smiling down at the tiny Night Fury.** "You're right. Now, what were you asking me?"**

**"What were they like with me? When they gave me and Hiccup back?"** Toothless asked.

**"They looked and acted crazy,"** Hookfang told the enthralled Night Fury. **"They were talking about how you ran them ragged and cried too much and he said you set the place on fire. Now, I have no way of knowing if you actually set the place on fire, but I hope you did! That would have been so cool to watch!"**

**"I wish I remembered it so I could tell you whether or not I actually set the place on fire,"** Toothless sighed. **"I must have been so different as a hatchling compared to my adult self."**

**"Watch your tone, mister. You're still covered in hatchling smell and even if that wasn't there, you still aren't quite an adult,"** Hookfang corrected. **"And the only thing that really changed was your size and ability to speak. There's something you've always had, even if you don't know it yet."**

**"What are you talking about?"** Toothless asked. Hookfang scooped him up and started blowing ticklish raspberries, which made Toothless scream out with laughter.

Hookfang playfully nibbled on Toothless' ribs, eliciting screams of laughter from the immobilized Night Fury. **"Wow, Toothless. Who knew Night Furies were so tasty, huh?"**

**"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"** the ebony dragon howled.** "GET OFF ME!"**

**"Not yet, Toothless. I said I would tell you about something you had your whole life, and that is a ticklish body for bigger dragons like me to play with for ages and ages!"** Hookfang confirmed. As Hookfang took his sweet time testing sweet spots that he knew would have Toothless in stitches, dragon elders sat down to watch over them from the mountains. Hookfang had proven them all wrong, but in the best way possible.

**"I see the Night Fury hatchling is taking to Hookfang,"** a male Gronckle elder mused. **"Although I must admit to never having seen such a game where the hatchling is laughing quite so hard."**

**"Hush, you old boulder,"** a female Monstrous Nightmare elder scolded. **"Hookfang must have a special touch with hatchlings. Maybe that is all there is to it."**

**"And what of the scent-marking? How much progress has the new parent made?"** the two heads of a Zippleback elder chorused.

**"Utterly extraordinary,"** a Nadder elder complimented. **"It has only been a day since the adoption was made official, but he is covered in his new father's scent. My sources swear it."**

**"As there are no signs of neglect, then we shall have to leave them be,"** the Monstrous Nightmare elder concluded. **"Personally, I wish them both the best of luck."**

**"As do I."**

**"I also wish them the very best fate has to offer."**

**"Us, too."**

* * *

_**Hey, there, folks! I know this fanfic is supposed to be complete, but I felt I hadn't yet tied up all my loose ends and that there were some things I needed to explain. Some of you will have followed this story from the moment I uploaded it to this website, while others are new to this. Either way, I hope you find this satisfactory, and I hope you all stay safe during this trying and tragic time. I know I'm just someone typing story ideas for a universe and cast of characters created by someone else, but I still want you all to stay safe. This is FoxtrotTango543 signing out for now.**_


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